prof | Let's Play Umineko Chiru, Episode 6 Scene 27: The Guest Room

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...Turning them ON.

No. Wait a second, please. Battler, I have a proposal.

I think you already know, but this time around, I am not after a classic sort of victory. My enemy is not the lowly culprit killing the pieces, but you yourself.

I know. So... you're after a logic error.

Heheh...

I'm seriously regretting it now. You were acting so miserable that I fell for it completely, and I gave you a ridiculous privilege.

It was your PRIDE. It will cost you DEARLY.

Damn it...

So... what is your proposal?

And... if he's missing?

Inside this tiny room, I will now begin our endgame... the chase after the king. It should end in just a few moves. You'll be unable to construct the logic needed to let Battler escape from this room, and the tale will be destroyed. Game over.

Fighting to keep that from happening is our job. What is this proposal of yours?

An endgame fought over a logic error should be a bit more precise. Once again, we will fight with the red and blue truths, but we need a referee on the same level as the Game Master to observe and see that he doesn't create any logic errors with the red truth.

...That seems reasonable.

There's nothing special about this. Back when the old you was the Game Master, you were under the observation of your guardian, Lady Lambdadelta. In that way, it was judged that all red truths were effective.

So, you're telling us to show Lambdadelta our cards?

C-Can you say that in red?

Yep. I swear that I am impartial in my judgments. I was very impartial in the last game, wasn't I?

...Sure, fine. We won't get anywhere if you suspect every single impossible murder I show you of being a logic error. It's true that we need an observer to guarantee that the game is legitimate.

Then I'll come around to your side. Let me take a look at your hand.... hmmm?

Erika's hunch was correct. If he was to survive, Battler would have to revise his logic at the last second, which is what he's working on now.

To me, it looks as though you all are playing a game of poker. By moving to this side and looking at the cards you hold, I understand everything... That's an awful move. It's a complete waste, and Erika has already seen right through you.

Heheh... What would you do?

I'm the referee. I can't give you advice, but let me tell you my impressions.

No, that's okay.

It's chilling... You're trying to use this useless move, this baseless bluff, to make Erika back down... She's not going to back down. After all, you're the one who should be throwing his chips in and folding now...

...Thanks for the advice. Battler, I agree with her. Let's back down from the fight in this room. We don't have any winning cards...

Are you hoping for a card change to turn this into something more useful? I thought you were playing chess. In the world of chess, if you rely on luck, you die.

Lambda. I don't know what you're talking about, but you're chatting too much. A referee needs to be impartial.

True... Then, good luck, Battler. I'm hoping for a precise, chess-like battle. You aren't playing poker, are you?

Yeah, I am... Turn the lights on whenever you want.

For the rest of the fight in this room, the progression of time will be stopped. This way, all the moves for both players will be made at the same time, and the first move made will be treated no differently than the last move. That might be hard to understand, but it's a rule to protect you and your logic.

From here on out, you can use all the twisted logic you want to rebuild the trick in this room. In other words, it's possible that you might think of a good idea partway through the fight. Normally, it's unfair to revise your plot partway through. In order for that to be acceptable, you need a world stopped in time, where everything happens at once, and where logic that you think of afterwards can counter your opponent's earlier moves.

Of course, Erika can take advantage of this rule as well. If you revise your trick to be a new one, she can deal with that in a different way.

...This is pretty complicated...

It's simple. It's like a corrupt politician's war of twisted logic. You lie shamelessly. When evidence is shown revealing that lie, you retract those previous lies and say that you just remembered it wrong, then change to a new lie that doesn't have any contradictions. The fight goes between a lie, then evidence exposing it, then another lie, like a fight beteween two snakes spinning around, trying to each each other's tails.

Good! Just think of it as a world in which you're allowed to use twisted logic based off of your opponent's moves as often as you want. I used that myself when sealing this room, so I thought it was only fair to let you do the same.

You have no shame, do you?

Leave it to me, my master! Light, on!

...Dlanor. Confirm it with the red.

YES. Ushiromiya Battler--

Good. I'm glad you didn't run away from the fight. I'm impressed.

It's a high-stakes battle, so it'll cost you a lot if you're the one who loses. Are you prepared?

No one would raise the stakes unless they felt confident in their advantage.

Dlanor. Keep a record.

As you WISH.

As previously announced, Battler's first move is to have the corpse vanish. Now it's Erika's turn. Go ahead.

I present the possibility that Ushiromiya Battler is alive and hiding somewhere in this room. I proclaim this with the blue truth.

Ineffective. If you want to use the blue truth, give me a specific location.

Pfft. In the last game, Beato did that in Kinzo's study, and Dlanor made swiss cheese of her, right? I guess this is revenge.

Good. Then, let's get started with the search. What is the room's layout?

The guest room is divided into two rooms, the bedroom and the BATHROOM. Lady Erika has currently searched the entire bedroom SECTION. There is only one EXCEPTION.

I'll leave that one place be for the time being. So, were there any irregularities discovered in the bedroom?

There were NONE. Except for one location, there is no one to be seen in the BEDROOM.

What's this 'except for one location' business? Say it without being annoying.

There's a reason a face-down card remains face down. I'll turn it over if it's needed, so look forward to it.

I'm checking the bathroom.

...Lady Erika, the sound of water can be heard from INSIDE. Also, there is a faint HEAT.

Ooh? Don't tell me he's taking a shower... is it locked or anything?

No, it isn't locked. Go ahead and open it.

Then, if you'll allow me...

A blast of hot water knocks Erika over as she opens the door.

The nozzle is fixed pointing at the door by a piece of wire, and it's too high up for Erika to reach from her height. The water pressure is also fixed at full - she won't be able to disarm this stupid trap without a wire cutter.

Through a long, painful, and undignified process, Erika is able to retrieve the tools and disable the shower.

What a CALAMITY.

Would you like a bath? I can wash your face with this brush.

Allow me to PASS.

Oh... That's a SHAME.

So he has decided to openly show a card that had already been EXPOSED.

Let's check the inside of the bathroom. Was Battler seen?

Give that a rest. Just where is this one exception?

BGM: Solitary Deep-sea Fish

You'll try to trap me in this room, right? Okay. Let's have it.

Blue truth. You did not vanish from this room. You just hid yourself to make it seem as though you'd disappeared from a closed room. The place you are hiding is the 'one exception' that I haven't investigated yet.

This is the exception: The walk-in closet next to the entrance!

Yes, it is HERE!

There are no places in which to hide other than THIS. You are now hiding in HERE.

What do you say, Battler? Have you been struck through the chest for a literal Smothered Mate?

...Battler. It's our move now.

Yeah. I thought it would be like that, Erika. You intentionally left one spot open so you could stuff me into that coffin. It's the same move that trapped Kinzo in Natsuhi's room. I saw this move coming.

Oh, did you? Then let's see your response, but let me make a prediction.

Let's hear it.

I'll checkmate you just two moves from now. That's my prediction.

Then I'll make the same prediction. I'll checkmate you in just two moves.

Sounds interesting.

These predictions contradict each other. Who will be the liar, I wonder?

Then GO. It is your TURN.

...It's useless. Your lowly coffin won't be able to trap Battler.

Here's my response.

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