prof | Let's Play Umineko Chiru, Episode 7 Tea Party: The Immutable Ending

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Hey, are you watching, Clair? You wanted to hide this truth, too, didn't you? For fun, you wrote several tales, and planned to seal them in message bottles like the end of a mystery novel you loved. Then, you threw them into the sea. To save those who would suffer if they knew the truth! You sealed everything in a cat box, and Eva provided the lock! Hahahaha, and I've sliced that box open for you! All that effort you spent to hide it has gone to waste! I've exposed all of the truth you hid with your death! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Is that what you've been after?! You did all of this just to insult Clair's death?! And then... you showed it to Ange to make her suffer...! You really were an evil witch after all!

I can't forgive you for what you've done! You've hurt Ange and humiliated Clair, the person I would become in another world! I won't forgive you!

Lion. You are what Clair longs to be. Even after death, she longs for it. From the moment that Clair was thrown from the cliff, her fate was already sealed. I'm sure it gave her a little bit of salvation to know that another her lives in happiness in another world.

That's right. I'm her salvation! So, I must live life to the fullest... live life for the both of us...!

Don't worry, it'll be very interesting. After the duel between Eva and Kyrie, the guest house is wrapped in silence. Let me invite you to the parlor at that point in time.

The parlor...? The one in the mansion?

Just what's supposed to be here?

As you can see, there's nothing here. But watch. I'm about to show you something interesting.

If you call it interesting, that's a sure sign that it isn't.

Go on, take a look. It's right there. Right in that corner.

That's right, there's nothing there. At least, not in this world. But what if we peek into the next Fragment over?

BGM: Patchwork Chimera

What's going on here? Why am I here? This is supposed to be Clair's world, not mine! Clair and I can't exist at the same time, right?!

Yes, that's right. That's because I just switched worlds... switched Fragments. Switched to your world.

I don't understand!

It's very simple. They both end the same way!

I don't get it! Why am I supposed to be dead here?!

In your world, on October 4th, 1986, Beatrice's funeral was held just before the family conference.

Yes, I know that. For me, that happened today, a short while ago!

From that time until late that night, do you know what happened?

Nothing at all! The cousins all played together, and the whole family had dinner together!

...I don't know if they were satisfied, but the decision has been made. The head made it himself.

Kinzo adored you more than anything, and tried to make an exception and set you up as the next head. Of course his children wouldn't have been happy with that.

Could it be...?

That's right. The riddle of the epitaph. As you can tell by the mechanism set into the chapel, Kinzo thought up the epitaph trick near the beginning, when the mansion on Rokkenjima was being built. He had the romantic idea of someday using it as a test to select the next head.

After that, everything happened exactly like the truth you just saw. The siblings solved it right away and there was a quarrel over the pile of gold. Then, Kyrie and Rudolf decided to prevent any chance of the crime being discovered the next morning and an outcry being raised. They carried out the late night murders. They called the kids out from the cousins' room one by one, then killed them.

No, that's not quite right. You're the Ushiromiya Lion from the early evening of October 4th, 1986. So, I'll say it this way. Tonight, Kyrie will shoot you dead in the parlor.

That's... insane... it's... that's right, probability! Just like Lion can be born from Clair thanks to a rare miracle, Kyrie only commits murder with a tiny probability, close to zero! That must be it! Aren't you the witch who specializes in finding extremely improbable worlds?!

That is correct. I had to find one Fragment out of 2,578,917 in order to discover the miracle that is you. However, it was very, very easy to find this result for your world. After all, probability isn't a factor. I'm a witch who can find any miracle, no matter how unlikely it is.

But... then... I...

With a probability of 2,578,916 out of 2,578,917, you live in the world as Clair, are toyed with by an inescapable fate, and reach a tragic end. And, with a probability of 1 out of 2,578,917, you live as Ushiromiya Lion... and are killed by Kyrie tonight. In other words, your fate... no, the fate the two of you share... traps you in an inescapable dead end. It's a certain fate, with absolutely no chance for a miracle! Sucks for you, Clair. No, Beatrice.

Bernkastel makes her cut. Black blood seeps out.

I had to work hard to find Lion. As Beato dreamed, Lion's existence is a true miracle. And, at the end of your funeral, I wanted to show you that, even with that miracle, you couldn't have escaped this tragedy!

The more I hear... the less I understand you! Why... would you do something like this?!

I lost a game to Beatrice, so I wanted to get back at her. Yeah, now I feel a lot better about losing that game! Hey, Beato, are you watching? Can you see this?! And do you remember? Remember when I promised you that a miracle wouldn't occur?!

Die, Lion! The last hope of that scum Beato, uhyahhyahhyahhyaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Did you think you'd get an easy death? Hehihihihihihi! Humiliating and tearing out a corpse's guts is my specialty!

Slowly, Lion turns around.

Kyrie pulls the trigger.

BGM: The Executioner

The world shatters.

Hehehe... What's this? Are you saying that you came back here on a whim?

There was no way you'd end things on a happy note. Do you really hate Beatrice so much?

You think I'd let her win and get away? I have to pay her back in full for the humiliation she caused me. When I hold a grudge, a mere century isn't long enough for me to forget it.

You're a gloomy person.

Please, you mustn't forget my heart. Hahahahahahahaha!

My chest... hurts... It's...

Looks like Lion's body is almost ready to accept its fate.

Lion, hang in there! Damn these chains!

What's this? Are you trying to take that kid and escape? I won't let you? I'm about to let everyone watch as Lion coughs up blood, despairing at the fact that there is no hope in any of the many worlds... before finally dying in agony.

Lion isn't a show.

You intend to get in the way of my fun?

You aren't God. All you can do is sneer at fate. Lion's fate is decided by Lion. You can't use a human's fate like a toy!

Hahahahahahahaha! You've got guts, saying that to the great Bernkastel, witch of the Senate! I have no more use for you either, get it? You've shown that Beato's fantasy is a mystery and cut it to pieces. You've fulfilled your role. I would've let you be, if only you'd just left quietly. Now that you've strolled on back here, you can hardly complain when I make you my plaything.

Will...

I'll handle this. Trimming kitty nails is nothing new to me.

Get a grip, Lion. You haven't been shot. Don't acknowledge that you will be shot!

Nnggggghhh...

Listen up. I'm gonna break through their perimeter for just a second. When I do, you need to run with all you've got. It doesn't matter where. Just make sure you get far away from this place and keep on running, no matter what happens.

I'll try... to the best of my ability... If I can't do it, please forgive me...

Be... a miracle...

You're gonna reach a happy future. You can't give up, and you can't complain. Just you try complaining one more time. This time I'll pinch your ass!

O... Okay...

You call that mystery? You think I'd ever accept a mystery without heart? Let the cat who wants to be made into a shamisen strike first.

The wave of cats is repelled. Will and Lion aren't killed.

Will's sword scatters cats like a black tornado.

Will charges Bernkastel.

Lion runs.

What do you mean by 'clues'?

I won't accept your mystery with Kyrie and Rudolf as the culprits. You won't find clues showing that they're the culprits no matter which game you look at.

Of course you won't. Even if they did exist at one point, the whole island blew up.

Which means there aren't any clues, and that means this is now mystery. It's fantasy.

You're not even worth fighting. Get over here, scum. Try and cut me all you like. I'll listen to all you've got to say.

The twenty wedges'll pierce every part of your heartless mystery. Here it comes.

And when you realize that you can't defeat me with those twenty wedges, you know what'll happen next, right? Come on, I'll play with you, if that's what you want!

Lion runs out of the theater, and into the sea of Fragments.

Don't worry about a destination. Just keep running.

Someone catches Lion before they fall.

Sorry... I'm really sorry... but, on that day, in that place... I was fated to be killed...

That's right. All humans are fated to die in the end. Does that mean their lives are meaningless? Of course not. What a person's life means, what it's worth, what it is... these are things a person decides for themselves, no matter what sort of fate is forced upon them. Don't accept it. Create your own world for yourself!

Will's body is barely holding itself together. His left arm is missing from the elbow up.

Holding Lion with his one remaining arm, Will can't even draw his sword.

Behind the cats comes the witch who permits no miracles.

Go file a protest with the Great Court. You can put it up for debate.

Will... I...

I won't leave you behind. I need to tell you why I quit SSVD.

Come to think of it, even I don't know that. Why'd you do it?

I'm gonna show her. Beatrice died in despair, thinking that there were only bad endings. I'm gonna show her that a happy ending can exist. So, I'll never put you down.

...Will...

Are you okay with this, Lion? Will's planning to die protecting you. You don't want that, right? Go ahead and tell him to leave you be and save himself.

Will...

Yeah.

There you have it. We'll keep struggling on, Bernkastel.

We won't give up on the chance of a miracle!

Come, my kitties. I won't tell you to kill them. Just clean up the two pieces whose roles have ended.

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