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Let's Play The Ur-Quan Masters
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Chapter 3: Smells Like Sidequests
Part 3: Army of Robots VS Socratic Method
March 22, 2156
So I haven't been commenting on them, but every few weeks in space I've been running into more of those Slylandro Probes. I think it's about time to deal with them.
A quick QuasiSpace jump later, I'm near my destination system of Beta Corvi.
A gas giant. Am I here for the moon?
Nope!
CONTENT TO HOVER
We are the Slylandro. I am Content to Hover, a Slylandro Speaker. Your presence here fills us with excitement! We have gotten so few visitors over these many Drahn. We hope you can stay to talk with us for a time.
ZELNICK
I am Zelnick, Captain of the Earth starship Vindicator. What the heck are you?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Oh, this is terribly exciting! We will be happy to tell you about ourselves ifi you will please, please do the same. You see, we Slylandro have been extremely interested in learning about the galaxy, but our physique makes us incapable of leaving our gas giant home. Therefore, we are totally reliant on our infrequent visitors to keep us informed about events outside this planetary system. And visitors only show up every few Drahn. We hope that our newly deployed exploration probe fleet will not only gather information for us, but inform other races of our presence here as well!
ZELNICK
Probes? What probes are you talking about?
CONTENT TO HOVER
You know, it's funny. We hadn't heard from the outside galaxy in a whole Drahnasa, and then the Melnorme come by and sell us a probe, and just a few hundred rotations later, YOU show up!
Oh! The probes? Right. Well like we said, just a short time ago, a race called the Melnorme stopped by. They said they had acquired some information revealing our existence, and they wanted to study us, if we didn't mind. In fact, the Melnorme said they would PAY us for the right to do so
I guess they are biology nuts, or something... anyway, in exchange for our information, they gave us a probe vessel.
ZELNICK
What are those glowy bits inside you?
CONTENT TO HOVER
OH MY! I forgot! You creatures see in the visual range and can see our... well our, er... well, WE can't see them...
...Ehhh... Ahem... What I mean to say is... they are... well, we use them for when the male and the female... ahem...
Look, I'd rather if you didn't ask about them, okay? (especially not in front of Sullen Plummet... she's shy.)
ZELNICK
Exactly how long is a 'Drahn'?
CONTENT TO HOVER
The Drahn is our primary unit of time. It lasts for an interval equivalent to four million rotations of our planet. A Drahn is subdivided into two-thousand Drahnasa.
Now please... our turn! Will you tell us about yourselves?!
ZELNICK
Most of us come from a large, rocky world called Earth.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Yes! That seems to be the pattern. Just about everyone who comes by here says they developed on a world a lot like that. As far as we know, we're the only sentient species who's ever evolved in the atmosphere of a gas giant. Of course, from what we know, most Travellers like yourselves don't have much interest in gas giants, so maybe there are others like us Slylandro out there somewhere.
ZELNICK
We travel the galaxy in starships, seeking knowledge and contact with other sentients.
CONTENT TO HOVER
That must be great! To leave your planet, and roam the stars! You don't know how monotonous living on a gas giant for three or four Drahn can be. Clouds, clouds, clouds. Wind. Lightning. Clouds, clouds, clouds. That's it! We know a LOT about clouds. If you've got any cloud questions, ask us. We have over eight hundred different symbolic references just to describe them!
Most of the time, when we aren't eating, we hover around and talk about what the clouds look like. Of course, the only things we know about are clouds, food, and other Slylandro, so generally, that's what we think the clouds look like.
ZELNICK
Our primary objective right now is to free ourselves from the Evil Ur-Quan.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The Ur-Quan?! The long brownish guys from the Milieu with all the eyes and arms? They used to come visit us regularly about three Drahns ago. They told us about all the interesting things they found from their scouting missions. They were really nice! Why do you fight with them?
ZELNICK
I think you are confused. Those aren't the Ur-Quan we're talking about. Ours are green.
CONTENT TO HOVER
But the Ur-Quan were such good guys! They had lots of interesting things to tell us about, and they never got impatient with our questions.
Hmmm. Well, I guess a lot can happen to a species in three Drahn, like turning green and evil.
ZELNICK
That's enough about us, for now.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Okay, but please, can we talk about you some more later?
ZELNICK
Can you give me details about your probes?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure, if you are interested. In exchange for information about the life on Source, the Melnorme offered to give us a remote exploration probe. It would roam the galaxy, gathering information and contacting alien races, and when it had filled its data storage unuits, it would return here and reveal to us everything it had learned!
ZELNICK
Well, why then do your probes attack our ships?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Our probes DO NOT attack! They have only defensive capabilities. Offensive behavior is NOT part of the instructions we programmed into the probe. To do so would be reprehensible!
ZELNICK
Can we talk a little bit more about the probe's program?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure. What would you like to know?
ZELNICK
Would you explain the general outline of the probe's program?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure. It was a difficult task for us, since we'd never done anything like that before, but for the most part we just adjusted its standard program which went something like:
SCAN (for targets, as defined in Target List)
IF (no current target)
THEN (select New target from Current Targets List, using specified priorities)
IF (Current Position is AT Current Target)
THEN (Set Current Behavior to New Behavior, based on Behavior Priority Settings)
PERFORM (Current Behavior)
Okay, that's the basic program... I said it was simple. And here are the tables used by the program:
TARGET LIST (With associated Target Priority)
Space Vessel (5)
Transmission Source (4)
Astronomical Anomaly (3)
Planet Bearing Life Signature (2)
Raw Replication Materials (1)
PROBE BEHAVIORS (With assigned priorities)
Communicate (5)
Record Data (4)
Analyze Data (2)
Seek Replication Materials (999)
Move to Current Target (1)
That's it.
ZELNICK
You mentioned the probe's defensive capabilities. Elaborate.
CONTENT TO HOVER
That behavior was hard-coded by the Melnorme. We couldn't mess with it. Essentially, the probe will only fire its weapons if it has been attacked, and cannot communicate with the attacker.
ZELNICK
And when defending itself, it uses its lightning weapon?
CONTENT TO HOVER
No. The probe is armed with a battery of missiles. It doesn't use its electrical discharge device in combat.
ZELNICK
What missile batteries? It always attacked us with lightning bolts!
CONTENT TO HOVER
That's impossible! It's inconceivable! The electrical discharge device is used only for breaking down raw replication materials into their component compounds for easy gathering.
ZELNICK
Would you tell me about the 'Replication' behavior?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I'd be glad to! You see, the probe has the capability to seek out raw materials, process the raw materials into component compounds, collect the compounds, and then when it has a sufficient supply, it can build a duplicate of itself. We decided that since we had only one probe, we should change the Replication priority and crank it up so that there would be more probes sooner.
ZELNICK
Uh... what priority did you assign to replication?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Well, the factory setting was two, in between Movement at one, and Analyze Data at three. I told Joyous LIfting to set it a bit higher, let me ask him what he set it to...
Oh! My! That was a bit extreme, wasn't it? Joyous Lifting told me he changed it to nine hundred ninety-nine, the highest setting on the dial.
ZELNICK
What is the effect of the Priority Settings on Behavior?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I'm pretty sure the way it works is that every time a behavior is completed or interrupted, the program selects a new behavior based on the defined Behavior Target Priorities, and what kind of Target is currently selected... I think. A really high priority would cause a probe to focus its attention on that behavior.
ZELNICK
Your probe DOES destroy ships, and I can prove it!
CONTENT TO HOVER
No! It cannot! It is not programmed for hostile behavior! What is your reasoning?!
ZELNICK
Think abuot a probe's Replication behavior.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The probe seeks raw materials, and processes them in preparation for Replication.
ZELNICK
Think about the effect of changing the replication behavior's priority.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The answer is simple... it would spend more of its time seeking raw materials for its replication process. So what?
ZELNICK
Now, what will it do to a ship, given that its Replication priority is set at maximum?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I don't see what you are getting at, but I'll play along with you.
Like I said, alien ships are THE top priority target. Once a probe scanned a ship, it would instantly move toward it. Then, when it got to the ship, it would initiate communication automatically. When communications were terminated, a new behavior would be selected, and...
Uh-oh.
A new behavior would be selected, and since the Replication setting was set to maximum, the probe wouldn't get time to pick a new target... it would use the current target... the ship... for raw Replication materials... it would process the ship... break it into component compounds... with electrical discharges
Oh no! What have we done? Traveller! You must tell us what we can do! How can we stop the probes from destroying all life in the galaxy?!
ZELNICK
Well to begin with, if I were you, I'd sue the Melnorme.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sorry. The Melnorme made us agree to a formal Waiver of Damages, in case something like this happened.
ZELNICK
I don't suppose you have some kind of Mega-Self-Destruct Code, or something?
CONTENT TO HOVER
WHY YES, THERE IS! You're a genius, Traveller! Why didn't we remember that!? Oh... there's a problem though! How are we going to transmit the code? Well, while we ponder that, at least we can give you the code sequence. That way, if you run into a probe, you can destroy it without getting shot at.
ZELNICK
Goodbye, Slylandro gas bags.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Goodbye, human fluid sack!
WHUGH OKAY THAT CONVERSATION IS SO LONG. I think I'm going to cut this post off here, and finish this chapter in the next one.
NEXT TIME: Culture Twenty!
<< | ^^ | >>
Chapter 3: Smells Like Sidequests
Part 3: Army of Robots VS Socratic Method
March 22, 2156
So I haven't been commenting on them, but every few weeks in space I've been running into more of those Slylandro Probes. I think it's about time to deal with them.
A quick QuasiSpace jump later, I'm near my destination system of Beta Corvi.
A gas giant. Am I here for the moon?
Nope!
CONTENT TO HOVER
We are the Slylandro. I am Content to Hover, a Slylandro Speaker. Your presence here fills us with excitement! We have gotten so few visitors over these many Drahn. We hope you can stay to talk with us for a time.
ZELNICK
I am Zelnick, Captain of the Earth starship Vindicator. What the heck are you?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Oh, this is terribly exciting! We will be happy to tell you about ourselves ifi you will please, please do the same. You see, we Slylandro have been extremely interested in learning about the galaxy, but our physique makes us incapable of leaving our gas giant home. Therefore, we are totally reliant on our infrequent visitors to keep us informed about events outside this planetary system. And visitors only show up every few Drahn. We hope that our newly deployed exploration probe fleet will not only gather information for us, but inform other races of our presence here as well!
ZELNICK
Probes? What probes are you talking about?
CONTENT TO HOVER
You know, it's funny. We hadn't heard from the outside galaxy in a whole Drahnasa, and then the Melnorme come by and sell us a probe, and just a few hundred rotations later, YOU show up!
Oh! The probes? Right. Well like we said, just a short time ago, a race called the Melnorme stopped by. They said they had acquired some information revealing our existence, and they wanted to study us, if we didn't mind. In fact, the Melnorme said they would PAY us for the right to do so
I guess they are biology nuts, or something... anyway, in exchange for our information, they gave us a probe vessel.
ZELNICK
What are those glowy bits inside you?
CONTENT TO HOVER
OH MY! I forgot! You creatures see in the visual range and can see our... well our, er... well, WE can't see them...
...Ehhh... Ahem... What I mean to say is... they are... well, we use them for when the male and the female... ahem...
Look, I'd rather if you didn't ask about them, okay? (especially not in front of Sullen Plummet... she's shy.)
ZELNICK
Exactly how long is a 'Drahn'?
CONTENT TO HOVER
The Drahn is our primary unit of time. It lasts for an interval equivalent to four million rotations of our planet. A Drahn is subdivided into two-thousand Drahnasa.
Now please... our turn! Will you tell us about yourselves?!
ZELNICK
Most of us come from a large, rocky world called Earth.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Yes! That seems to be the pattern. Just about everyone who comes by here says they developed on a world a lot like that. As far as we know, we're the only sentient species who's ever evolved in the atmosphere of a gas giant. Of course, from what we know, most Travellers like yourselves don't have much interest in gas giants, so maybe there are others like us Slylandro out there somewhere.
ZELNICK
We travel the galaxy in starships, seeking knowledge and contact with other sentients.
CONTENT TO HOVER
That must be great! To leave your planet, and roam the stars! You don't know how monotonous living on a gas giant for three or four Drahn can be. Clouds, clouds, clouds. Wind. Lightning. Clouds, clouds, clouds. That's it! We know a LOT about clouds. If you've got any cloud questions, ask us. We have over eight hundred different symbolic references just to describe them!
Most of the time, when we aren't eating, we hover around and talk about what the clouds look like. Of course, the only things we know about are clouds, food, and other Slylandro, so generally, that's what we think the clouds look like.
ZELNICK
Our primary objective right now is to free ourselves from the Evil Ur-Quan.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The Ur-Quan?! The long brownish guys from the Milieu with all the eyes and arms? They used to come visit us regularly about three Drahns ago. They told us about all the interesting things they found from their scouting missions. They were really nice! Why do you fight with them?
ZELNICK
I think you are confused. Those aren't the Ur-Quan we're talking about. Ours are green.
CONTENT TO HOVER
But the Ur-Quan were such good guys! They had lots of interesting things to tell us about, and they never got impatient with our questions.
Hmmm. Well, I guess a lot can happen to a species in three Drahn, like turning green and evil.
ZELNICK
That's enough about us, for now.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Okay, but please, can we talk about you some more later?
ZELNICK
Can you give me details about your probes?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure, if you are interested. In exchange for information about the life on Source, the Melnorme offered to give us a remote exploration probe. It would roam the galaxy, gathering information and contacting alien races, and when it had filled its data storage unuits, it would return here and reveal to us everything it had learned!
ZELNICK
Well, why then do your probes attack our ships?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Our probes DO NOT attack! They have only defensive capabilities. Offensive behavior is NOT part of the instructions we programmed into the probe. To do so would be reprehensible!
ZELNICK
Can we talk a little bit more about the probe's program?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure. What would you like to know?
ZELNICK
Would you explain the general outline of the probe's program?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sure. It was a difficult task for us, since we'd never done anything like that before, but for the most part we just adjusted its standard program which went something like:
SCAN (for targets, as defined in Target List)
IF (no current target)
THEN (select New target from Current Targets List, using specified priorities)
IF (Current Position is AT Current Target)
THEN (Set Current Behavior to New Behavior, based on Behavior Priority Settings)
PERFORM (Current Behavior)
Okay, that's the basic program... I said it was simple. And here are the tables used by the program:
TARGET LIST (With associated Target Priority)
Space Vessel (5)
Transmission Source (4)
Astronomical Anomaly (3)
Planet Bearing Life Signature (2)
Raw Replication Materials (1)
PROBE BEHAVIORS (With assigned priorities)
Communicate (5)
Record Data (4)
Analyze Data (2)
Seek Replication Materials (999)
Move to Current Target (1)
That's it.
ZELNICK
You mentioned the probe's defensive capabilities. Elaborate.
CONTENT TO HOVER
That behavior was hard-coded by the Melnorme. We couldn't mess with it. Essentially, the probe will only fire its weapons if it has been attacked, and cannot communicate with the attacker.
ZELNICK
And when defending itself, it uses its lightning weapon?
CONTENT TO HOVER
No. The probe is armed with a battery of missiles. It doesn't use its electrical discharge device in combat.
ZELNICK
What missile batteries? It always attacked us with lightning bolts!
CONTENT TO HOVER
That's impossible! It's inconceivable! The electrical discharge device is used only for breaking down raw replication materials into their component compounds for easy gathering.
ZELNICK
Would you tell me about the 'Replication' behavior?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I'd be glad to! You see, the probe has the capability to seek out raw materials, process the raw materials into component compounds, collect the compounds, and then when it has a sufficient supply, it can build a duplicate of itself. We decided that since we had only one probe, we should change the Replication priority and crank it up so that there would be more probes sooner.
ZELNICK
Uh... what priority did you assign to replication?
CONTENT TO HOVER
Well, the factory setting was two, in between Movement at one, and Analyze Data at three. I told Joyous LIfting to set it a bit higher, let me ask him what he set it to...
Oh! My! That was a bit extreme, wasn't it? Joyous Lifting told me he changed it to nine hundred ninety-nine, the highest setting on the dial.
ZELNICK
What is the effect of the Priority Settings on Behavior?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I'm pretty sure the way it works is that every time a behavior is completed or interrupted, the program selects a new behavior based on the defined Behavior Target Priorities, and what kind of Target is currently selected... I think. A really high priority would cause a probe to focus its attention on that behavior.
ZELNICK
Your probe DOES destroy ships, and I can prove it!
CONTENT TO HOVER
No! It cannot! It is not programmed for hostile behavior! What is your reasoning?!
ZELNICK
Think abuot a probe's Replication behavior.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The probe seeks raw materials, and processes them in preparation for Replication.
ZELNICK
Think about the effect of changing the replication behavior's priority.
CONTENT TO HOVER
The answer is simple... it would spend more of its time seeking raw materials for its replication process. So what?
ZELNICK
Now, what will it do to a ship, given that its Replication priority is set at maximum?
CONTENT TO HOVER
I don't see what you are getting at, but I'll play along with you.
Like I said, alien ships are THE top priority target. Once a probe scanned a ship, it would instantly move toward it. Then, when it got to the ship, it would initiate communication automatically. When communications were terminated, a new behavior would be selected, and...
Uh-oh.
A new behavior would be selected, and since the Replication setting was set to maximum, the probe wouldn't get time to pick a new target... it would use the current target... the ship... for raw Replication materials... it would process the ship... break it into component compounds... with electrical discharges
Oh no! What have we done? Traveller! You must tell us what we can do! How can we stop the probes from destroying all life in the galaxy?!
ZELNICK
Well to begin with, if I were you, I'd sue the Melnorme.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Sorry. The Melnorme made us agree to a formal Waiver of Damages, in case something like this happened.
ZELNICK
I don't suppose you have some kind of Mega-Self-Destruct Code, or something?
CONTENT TO HOVER
WHY YES, THERE IS! You're a genius, Traveller! Why didn't we remember that!? Oh... there's a problem though! How are we going to transmit the code? Well, while we ponder that, at least we can give you the code sequence. That way, if you run into a probe, you can destroy it without getting shot at.
ZELNICK
Goodbye, Slylandro gas bags.
CONTENT TO HOVER
Goodbye, human fluid sack!
WHUGH OKAY THAT CONVERSATION IS SO LONG. I think I'm going to cut this post off here, and finish this chapter in the next one.
NEXT TIME: Culture Twenty!
<< | ^^ | >>