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Let's Play Hivebent
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Act 5 Act 1: MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND
Part 8: Quadrants
Link back to comic: Page 2392
[ BGM - Keepers ]
It's time to take a moment to try and explain the complexities of Troll relationships.
Human relationships are varied and complex, but all together comprise of only a small slice of the Troll romantic spectrim. The slice described by this symbol:
♥
Troll relationships are much more complicated. They require four symbols.
Troll love is split across two spectrums: The Concupiscient-Conciliatory spectrum, and the Red-Black spectrum. The result is four Quadrants.
Concupiscient relationships are related to the process of reproduction, whereas Conciliatory relationships are strictly related to emotional bonds, and have nothing to do with procreation. Red romance, meanwhile, deals with positive emotions, whereas Black romance deals with equally strong negative emotions.
♥
The Flushed (Red/Concupiscient) quadrant is most similar to the human concept of love. When two trolls find themselves together in this quadrant, they are said to be Matesprits. There isn't much to try and understand here, it's pretty simple.
♠
The Caliginous (Black/Concupiscient) quadrant, on the other hand, is something harder for most humans to imagine. It's sort of like an extremely potent arch-rivalry.
When two trolls are locked in the dance of hatred and attraction that is the Calignious quadrant, they are each other's Kismesis.
These two quadrants are the kinds that factor into the extremely complex and gross troll reproductive cycle.
Adult trolls need to provide the genetic material produced from both relationships when the Imperial Drones come with their Filial Pails. If a troll is found lacking in either department, they are killed without hesitation.
Romance is extremely serious business for Trolls.
♣
On the other side, we have the Ashen (Black/Conciliatory) quadrant, which is very much particular to troll society, and involves three people.
Trolls are very aggressive in nature, so if left to their own devices, each troll would be likely to end up in multiple caliginous relationships at once. Thusly, a mediating force is needed. When two trolls might otherwise become kismeses, a third troll will often interpose between the other two and mediate between them to prevent a full-fledged rivalry from emerging. When this happens, the three of them are together in the Ashen quadrant, and the mediator is the Auspistice for the other two.
♦
Last but not least, the Pale (Red/Conciliatory) quadrant deals with the troll relationship known as Moirallegience. Some trolls are more violent or unstable than otheres, and if left to their own devices, would become a serious danger to themselves and everyone around them. For this reason, these trolls need a Moirail - someone who will be their emotional anchor, keeping them from seriously losing it.
None of these relationships are at all set in stone, and the blurry lines dividing the quadrants make the passionate sweeps of youth a very confusing time for most trolls. Being confused by troll relationships is one thing humans and trolls usually have in common.
But sometimes you find two trolls who seem to have been made for each other.
Eridan Ampora
caligulasAquariumInterests: Genocide, extreme role playing, legendary conquerors, magic, games
Fetch Modus: Unknown
Feferi Peixes
cuttlefishCullerInterests: Aquatic fauna, land-dwellers, prophecy, games
Fetch Modus: Unknown
Today looks to be a usual day.
Eridan kills Lusii, and Feferi feeds them to her Lusus in order to keep her quiet.
If she were ever to speak above a whisper, her horrible voice would kill every troll on the planet.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]
CA: fef
CA: hey
CA: glub
CC: Glub glub!
CC: 38)
CA: yeah
CA: hm
CC: I am wondering if you can forego t)(e exaggerated emotional t)(eatrics for once and actually tell me w)(at's on your mind!
CA: nothins on my mind wwhy cant i just fuckin talk and glub at you for a reason i dont havve
CA: wwell fine but you dont wwant to hear it
CC: We are supposed to talk to eac)( ot)(er, t)(at is w)(at moirails are for.
CC: Will you take t)(e c)(ip off your nub and tell me w)(at's t)(e matter?
CA: yeah wwell ok since wwe are the PALEST OF PALS A GUY COULD EVVER ASK FOR
CA: i wwill tell you
CA: evven though you wwill only humor me as usual since you dont agree wwith my agenda
CC: Are you fretting over anot)(er one of t)(ese dumb contraptions?
CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk!
CA: im not going to explain it to you again
CA: at this point all you need to knoww is its important to me
CA: and im doing it for us
CA: i mean our kind
CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is.
CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!
CC: W)(at about your friends? Do you ever t)(ink about t)(em?
CC: If t)(ey are beneat)( you t)(en t)(ey )(ave to die too.
CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out
CC: I )(ave a fis)(y feeling...
CC: T)(at t)(is stupid doomsday mac)(ine t)(ing is just anot)(er excuse to consort!
CC: Wit)( someone in particular...
CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB
CC: O)( S)(IT, you are angling for SO MUC)( TROUBL-E NOW.
CA: ok please lets just not get into the wwhole fuckin fish pun thing again ok
CA: like wwe get it wwe are nautically themed
CC: )(-E)(-E ok. 38)
CA: i dont knoww wwhy she ignores me i guess shes just bored wwith me
CA: it wwas pretty fuckin bitter and contentious for a wwhile there and there wwas some good chemistry i dont knoww wwhat happened
CC: T)(at is so ridiculous, any girl would be lucky to )(ave a kismesis as diabolical as you, especially T)(AT one.
CA: ehhh
CA: wwell ok thanks for sayin so
CC: So ok. T)(ose are your black leanings.
CC: W)(at about R-ED, ------Eridan???
CC: )(MMMMM??????? 38D
CA: oh god
CA: ok fef
CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS
CA: i gotta go
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]
You try to talk to Vriska, even though you know she won't answer. She probably already knows that this doomsday device doesn't work, and is playing you this whole time.
You are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later, in the Land of Dew and Glass...
CA: that took forevver
CA: i wwas gettin wworried kinda
CC: Yes, it was a pretty close call, and got kind of complicated.
CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete!
CA: man that guy
CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic
CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB.
CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life.
CA: yeah sorry
CA: i wwas just really wworried and stressed out i thought you wwere dead
CA: and i decided i havve something i wwant to tell you
CA: that ivve been meaning to get off my nub for a wwhile noww
CC: O)(, really?
CC: T)(at's good! Actually, I )(ave somet)(ing I )(ave been meaning to say to you too.
CC: But t)(is isn't easy to say!
CA: its ok maybe i wwill understand more than you think
CA: wwe might evven be sayin the same thing
CC: Okay, I )(ope so.
CC: Now t)(at we are bot)( in t)(is game, and )(ave left our world be)(ind...
CC: I t)(ink it is not really necessary for me to be your moirail anymore.
CA: wwhoa
CA: wwait
CA: wwhat
CC: 38(
CC: I am really sorry, -Eridan. It )(as just been so )(ard looking after you and keeping you out of trouble!
CA: fuck
CA: this isnt what
CA: i dont knoww i wwasnt expectin this at all
CC: It will be t)(e best for bot)( of us. We can just sort of be...
CC: Regular friends instead.
CA: look im bein serious here dont do this
CA: i wont even use my weird accent while i type ok so you know im bein really dead serious and honest about this
CC: Uh...
CC: Okay, I am being serious and honest too. SEE?
CA: are you sure you arent bein hasty about this youve just been through a lot
CA: i mean we are supposed to be fated to be moirails arent we
CC: In order to be destined for moirallegience, both people have to be on board, don't you think?
CC: But I cannot do it anymore. So I think it just wasn't meant to be all along.
CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME
CA: and the only reason i put up with stickin my flipper in this fuckin shithole quadrant with you was
CC: Was what?
CA: ok fine
CA: i apologize for losin my shit over this i was just caught off guard is all
CA: actually i might a been proposin the same thing to be honest
CA: fef have you thought about
CA: since you dont wanna be pale with me no more
CA: the possibility a some other type of arrangement with me
CA: kinda reddish
CA: like
CA: brighter red
CC: 38O
CC: Um...
CC: I really don't know about that.
CA: dont you think theres room in your collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vascular system for those feelins
CC: I've never had a chance to consider anything like that! I have just spent all my time worrying about you and trying to keep you from killing everybody or hurting yourself.
CC: It took all my energy.
CA: oh god
CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin
CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker
CC: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!
CC: God.
CC: Will you just clam up for once in your life?
CC: Always carping and carping and carping!
CC: You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can.
CC: I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.
CA: i cannot
CA: BELIEVE
CA: you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me
CC: When all is said and done, I am still your friend.
CC: We have left our world behind. Everyone is dead, and there's no use in worrying about it now.
CC: It's over! It is time to play this game and focus on building something new and ------EXCITING.
CC: So )(ang in t)(ere, -Eridan.
CC: I )(ave to go now! Sollux is in serious trouble, and I )(ave to go )(elp )(im.
CA: wwait
CA: dont go
cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
CA: glub
Oh god. Oh god.
It's all your fault. You couldn't bring him into the Medium in time.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]
CA: gam i need to talk to kar wwhere is he he isnt answwerin
CA: i havve some serious feelins and problems here and i need some advvice
TC: HaHa, YeAh i fEeL YoU, hE'S PrEtTy wOrKeD Up tOo
TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt
CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole
TC: KaRkAt bLaMeS HiMsElF On iT, pOoR MoThErFuCkEr
TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl
TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It
CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT
TC: BrO My aDvIcE Is yOu jUsT KiCk bAcK AnD MoThErFuCkIn sNaP InTo sOmE RuDe eLiXiR AnD MaYbE GeT YoUr wIcKeD ZoNe oN
CA: wwhat the FUCK are you fuckin babblin about
CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin
CA: put kar on
Later, a princess prepares to deliver a universal remedy for the unawakened.
What Karkat couldn't know is that this ritual awakened Sollux's still-living dreamself.
That kiss saved Sollux's life.
You swear to God, everywhere you look there are trolls smooching. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.
...oh god damn it we are not doing this again.
Great, we went through one fourth wall and clean into another.
Hussie, is there any way we can get back to the fucking story already?
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not going fast enough for you?
Well QUITE FRANKLY, your majesty, I don't think you realize what kind of hell I've been through.
Do you have any idea how long I've been trapped in this attic??
Do you have any idea how FUCKING SCARY it is in here???
Do you have even the SLIGHTEST CLUE how many times that wolf head over there has SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME?????
What wolf he--
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
This is ridiculous.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hussie, I'm begging you. This isn't even your LP.
Yeah ok. Guess I've trolled you guys enough.
NEXT CHAPTER: Getting the fuck on with it.
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