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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.

Part 16: Critical Hope Failure

Link back to comic: Page 3301

There she is. You've watched this moment a dozen times.

Everything is normal...

...then darkness. You can't tell what's going on here.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

GA: Are You Feeling Any More Cooperative In This Timeframe
GA: I Know You Were Talking To Her Shortly Before
GA: What Did You Say To Her

GG: PASSWORD FUCKASS!!!!!

GA: Wow

GG: whoops sorry
GG: ive been having too many password arguments with karkat i guess :p

GA: I Still Dont Understand The Password Thing
GA: Past You Doesnt Care About Passwords What Happened
GA: How Am I Supposed To Know The Password

GG: because i told you

GA: I Feel Like I Am Trudging Waist Deep Through A Slither Basin Full Of Your Human Surprise Noodles
GA: Why Are You Demanding Passwords From Me And Also Apparently Karkat

GG: to keep the conversations linear!
GG: i gave you a password at the end of our previous conversation
GG: you have to give me that password to start our next conversation
GG: this ensures that past you cant jump ahead into the conversation and mess everything up, like you are trying to do now!
GG: bye kanaya <3

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

That was a waste of time. How about Past Jade?

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

GA: Past You Is Much Less Of A Taskmaster Than Future You Or Pre Blackout Rose

GG: umm, ok...
GG: but what do you mean by blackout???

GA: I Guess Youll Find Out Soon
GA: And Then Report It To Me Under Extremely Specific Circumstances
GA: Which Is Good Because I Sure Dont Know
GA: What Are You Doing

GG: im doing what you told me to do!
GG: im getting dave to set up that expensive equipment
GG: so i can start doing all that witch of spacey stuff you were telling me about

GA: Well I Didnt Actually Tell You To I Was Just Being Informative
GA: I Think Our Roles Are Approximately The Same Since We Are Both Stokers Of The Forge
GA: As Well As Holders Of Breeding Duties
GA: It Takes Weeks To Do All Of It Properly
GA: You Wont Have Time

GG: breeding duties?????
GG: uhhhhhhhhh...
GG: please tell me that doesnt involve what it sounds like!

GA: Well It Does
GA: But Not Breeding Through Means Typical Of Most Species
GA: I Didnt Mean To Alarm You By Implying You Were Required To Wage A Great Deal Of Personal Procreation Over A Span Of Several Weeks

GG: yeah, whew <_<;

GA: Though It Should Be Clear That Repopulation Is Among Our Duties As Well In The Long Term
GA: But Beyond That It Is Up To The Descendants To Perpetuate The Race
GA: And Your Species Has Quite An Advantage In This Respect
GA: Your Procreation May Be Carried Out By Paired Individuals Autonomously
GA: Whereas Ours May Not
GA: Which Is What Makes My Role Particularly Important

GG: what is your role?

GA: Im The Keeper Of The Matriorb
GA: It Is An Egg That Will Hatch A New Mother Grub
GA: She Alone Will Be Responsible For Bearing Our Young

GG: whoa, cool!
GG: so you are like bugs, like bees or ants or such, but with horns

GA: I Guess So
GA: I Had Imagined I Would Hatch The New Grub On A Planet In Your Universe
GA: But Then I Found Something Quite Unexpected When I Was Exploring This Lab
GA: I Found A Key
GA: It Was Deep In The Meteor
GA: And As I Suspected It Released The Orb
GA: It Means I Am Supposed To Use It Now
GA: To Hatch The Grub In The Heart Of This Meteor
GA: There Is No Reason A Meteor Couldnt Act As The Center Of Our Races Resurrection

GG: i think you can do it!
GG: so how does this cloning stuff work?

GA: I Cant Imagine How You Can Complete The Objective In The Time Given
GA: But Weirder Things Have Happened I Think
GA: First Deploy The Pad

GG: yes, dave is doing that at the top of this ridiculous tower

GG: its...
GG: so small :o

GA: Thats The Appropriate Size For The Equipment
GA: Repopulation Is Not Whats Happening Here

GG: what am i breeding????

GA: Frogs
GA: Sorry I Thought That Was Obvious

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is!
GG: its so cute
GG: alright how do i get started!

GA: He Will Need To Deploy The Terminal
GA: Then You Can Start Hunting For Frogs To Appearify From Around Your World

GG: ok, here is a frog on the screen
GG: on no, is it trapped in ice?

GA: I Would Conjecture That Most Of Them Are
GA: And Will Stay That Way Until The Forge Is Brought To Life

GG: so i push this button to appearify it?

GA: The Problem Isnt That The Frog Is Still Frozen
GA: The Problem Is That You Were Able To Appearify It At All
GA: Ectobiology Is Based Entirely On Your Inability To Appearify A Subject

GG: i dont understand!

GA: If That Frog Were Destined To Do Something Else
GA: Such As Become Ensnared In Your Net Later
GA: You Would Not Be Able To Appearify It Because That Would Cause A Paradox
GA: So Instead You Would Appearify Its Slime Imprint
GA: The Paradox Slime Is What Is Important Here

GG: ok, that makes sense i think
GG: how can i appearify some frog slime?

GA: You Will Need To Direct The Terminal To Another Frog
GA: And Then You Must Be Sure Later To Interfere With That Frog In Some Way
GA: For Instance By Planning To Venture Out To Capture That Exact Frog As I Suggested Earlier
GA: That Way It Will Be Impossible To Appearify The Frog Before Your Interference Has Taken Place
GA: Only Its Slime Will Arrive

GG: so it is like
GG: a sort of backwards frog breeding
GG: clone first, catch later?

GA: Yes

GG: that sounds like fun!!!!!!!

GA: Yes Its A Lot Of Fun
GA: It Is Also Extremely Time Consuming

GG: yaaaaaay!!!
GG: so what is the actual purpose of all this breeding?
GG: am i trying to make one really special frog with just the right genetic code or something?
GG: sort of like the ULTIMATE FROG :O

GA: Yes
GA: Your Objective Is To Breed The Genesis Frog
GA: Your Entire Mission Depends On Breeding Him
GA: He Will Begin As A Tadpole Like You Have There But Considerably Bigger
GA: Hes Known As The Speaker Of The Vast Croak

GG: then the speaker is like a god, but there are a lot of them?
GG: like one for each session, kind of like the kings and queens?

GA: Yes There Will Be One For Every Session Should The Players Be Successful
GA: And Each One Is A Unique Product Of Their Quest
GA: The Kingdoms Are At Odds Over His Creation
GA: Prospit Worships Him Much As The Consorts Do
GA: Derse Reviles Him And Outlaws Frogs Wherever They Can

GG: ok then what?
GG: what do we do after i make this big god froggy?
GG: does it have something to do with the new universe we create?
GG: does that mean we bring him into the universe and...
GG: he makes new planets or life or such?

GA: Youre Not Really Understanding The Magnitude Of His Role
GA: He Is Not Responsible For Just One Aspect Of The Universe You Create
GA: Hes Responsible For All Of Them
GA: Bilious Slick Is Your Universe
GA: That Statement Was As Literal As You Can Possibly Make Words Be
GA: I Know Your Species Is Frequently Insincere For A Variety Of Reasons

GG: haha, you mean from rose?

GA: We Have Our Share Of Dangerous Players Who Seem To Do Nothing But Cause Problems
GA: I Believe She Is Yours
GA: And If Her Insane Plan Wasnt Alarming Enough
GA: She Has Been Communicating With Someone From Our World

GG: you mean your guardian?

GA: Yes
GA: And Hes Not Merely A Guardian
GA: Im Very Sure He Is A First Guardian
GA: Like Your Lusus Was

GG: im not sure why, but the sound of that makes me really nervous
GG: she didnt mention anything about this when we talked
GG: but then she seemed preoccupied

GA: Youll Have A Chance To Determine More Soon
GA: After Which Hopefully You Can Tell Me
GA: In The Meantime I Will Go
GA: I Would Like To Return To The Core To Situate This Orb
GA: Ill Message You Again In Your Future

GG: oh!!!
GG: that reminds me, i was thinking of implementing a system to keep some of these confusing conversations simple and linear
GG: i will give you a password, and you give it to me in the future when you want to pick up this conversation again
GG: the password is...............
GG: CROOOOOOOOOOOAK

GA: The Password System Is Already Paying Overwhelming Dividends Of Ease And Rationality

GG: ok! go hatch that orb!
GG: i will be waiting

GA: Yes Ill Do That
GA: Bye Jade

[S] Return to the core.

KARKAT: WHOA WHAT THE FUCK???
KARKAT: I MEAN, THAT'S GREAT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT. BUT YOU CAN'T GO, I NEED YOU HERE. LOOK AROUND, SHIT IS MAYHEM.
KANAYA: Ill Only Be Gone For A Few Minutes
KANAYA: Anyway Youre Doing A Good Job And I Think You Can Manage To Cope With My Momentary Absense
KARKAT: OK FINE.
KARKAT: IN THAT CASE
KARKAT: GOOD LUCK, HOPE IT WORKS.
KANAYA: Thanks

Matriorb get!

Now to get out of here and--

Oh god, it's this guy.

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you
ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help
ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya
KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome
KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science
ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww
ERIDAN: hey wwhat are you doin anywway
ERIDAN: wwhats that thing there
KANAYA: The Matriorb
KANAYA: I Was About To Go Hatch It In The Core To Restore Our Race
ERIDAN: you should of told me about this
ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved
ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it
KANAYA: But
KANAYA: Fine

ERIDAN: its not magic wwe talked about this kar
KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT.
ERIDAN: nobody gets it
ERIDAN: i had a harder time than anybody wwith this game
ERIDAN: it wwas really fuckin unfair wwhat challenges i got saddled wwith
ERIDAN: hey guys anybody wwant to come hang out wwith me in the land a wwrath and angels
ERIDAN: anybody please ill evven settle for the kittycat shipper cavve girl
ERIDAN: but yeah i guess bein her servver player and savvin her life wwasnt goddamn enough
ERIDAN: had to be my most humiliatin rejection yet
KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME.
KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?
KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
KARKAT: ANYWAY I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WERE EXPECTING TO MAKE ANY SORT OF TRACTION IF YOU SEE HER AS THE KITTYCAT SHIPPER GIRL, SHE'S A PERSON WITH FEELINGS YOU RAVING DOUCHE.
ERIDAN: im just saying wwhere the fuck wwere you guys
ERIDAN: i had to deal wwith those awwful angels all by my self
ERIDAN: do you havve any idea howw hard those assholes are to kill
KARKAT: I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING THEM DUDE.
KARKAT: I KEPT SAYING, I THINK THEY'RE LIKE GAME CONSTRUCTS OR SOMETHING. THERE TO SERVE SOME OTHER GAME PURPOSE, NOT FOR YOU TO HUNT DOWN.
KARKAT: THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU ANY GRIST, YOU IDIOT. THAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE.
ERIDAN: wwhere wwas evverybody wwhy are they avvoidin me all the time
KARKAT: THEY WERE TOO SCARED SHITLESS TO SET FOOT ON YOUR PLANET FOR MORE THAN A SECOND!
KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB.
KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN?
ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties
KARKAT: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN
KARKAT: JUST STAY HERE FOR A WHILE, OK? NO MORE BROODING IN THE LAB, AND ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING DUELING. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

SOLLUX: ff can you tell hiim two go away, ii don't even have the energy for thii2.
ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins

FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant!
FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!
ERIDAN: first as if this scum is evven wworthy of a rivvalry wwith me and second as if im not totally DONE wwith you like i havve TOLD you REPEATEDLY
ERIDAN: all i wwant to do is havve a wword wwith you
FEFERI: Ok -Eridan, we can talk. But only if you're planning on being civil.
ERIDAN: you and i are bein civvil by vvery vvirtue a the fact that wwere talkin noww
ERIDAN: wwere royalty you and i and wwe belong together
ERIDAN: so im gonna ask you this one last time and givve you the choice
ERIDAN: im about to go please come wwith me
FEFERI: Go wit)( you?? -Eridan, you weren't really serious about going to find Jack, were you?
FEFERI: Jack Noir is INSAN-ELY powerful -Eridan! Please, I don't want to see you do anyt)(ing foolis)( by trying to fig)(t )(im.
ERIDAN: fight him
ERIDAN: are you fuckin nuts
ERIDAN: of course im not gonna fight him i stand no chance in hell against that guy
ERIDAN: im goin to join him
FEFERI: YOU'R-E W)(AT???
ERIDAN: and youre gonna join me in joinin him too fef come on lets go
FEFERI: NO I AM NOT! And you aren't eit)(er! T)(at is GLUBBING INSAN-E!
FEFERI: I t)(oug)(t you were supposed to be t)(e Prince of )(ope? )(ow is it )(opeful to surrender to a murderous demon like a COWARD???
ERIDAN: as the prince of hope im uniquely qualified to recognize wwhen all hope is lost
ERIDAN: only thing left to do is servve him and hope he spares us
FEFERI: T)(at's it. T)(is makes me sad, -Eridan, but now we )(ave to stop you. We can't let you find Jack and risk you leading )(im to us.
ERIDAN: so thats howw it is is it
SOLLUX: 2he'2 riight, man. can't beliieve thii2, ii wa2 lookiing forward two a nap two.
SOLLUX: ii 2hould have kiilled you on lobaf when ii had the chance.
SOLLUX: oh well, gue22 iit'2 only fiittiing ii'd take you down iin ROUND TWO.
SOLLUX: you ready, priince?
ERIDAN: bring it mage

Eridan and Sollux's duel is an epic one!

Eridan wins.

Sollux is down for the count. At least he isn't dead.

But still, Feferi isn't too pleased about the Prince's rampage!

Eridan doesn't give a fuck.

Feferi dies.

Who's this? Another challenger?

This might not be so easy.

A stray thought distracts Kanaya at a critical moment.

Eridan uses it to his advantage.

Kanaya loses her cool,

and then her life.

OH GOD

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD hey, someone was trying to message Kanaya before this disaster started.

Mr. Vantas.

GA: WHAT THE FUCK?
GA: WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME THROUGH KANAYA'S ACCOUNT?
GA: I SERIOUSLY DON'T NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.

I'm delivering this message through the console of one of my numerous unwitting proteges to give you a word of advice, and then you will not hear from me again.

NEXT CHAPTER: Yes, things continue to get worse.

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