Let's Play Umineko Chiru, Episode 6 Scene 23: The Great Detective's Failure

[prof]

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And the result?
First, in all cases, it was the victims themselves that constructed the closed rooms. Also, those closed rooms were perfectly preserved until Krauss's group broke them open. Also, I confirmed that during that period, all sorts of interference from the outside was impossible.



Wait a second. Doesn't that mean this closed room murder was perfect?
Wha... uh...





You mean Purupurupikopuyo?
N-No, not that! It's not impossible for certain well-known drugs, such as insulin, to bring about a temporary state that mimics death. Battler did not counter that with the red truth. In other words, my blue truth worked! I... I think we've started with a victory.





Your blue truth worked? If he didn't cut it down, it's probably just because it was too stupid. You call yourself a great detective with reasoning like that...
I... I did try to examine the corpses with care, to the best of my abilities... However, I don't have the detective's authority, so we can't be certain...
Wait a second, weren't you the one who decided not to make the detective proclamation? Didn't you say you wanted to raise the stakes to make up for your disgrace last time?
W... Well...
What's wrong? Are you saying you can't win against Battler without the detective's authority?
Th... That's not true, my master. I... I could easily defeat an incompetent like that, even without the detective's authority... it's just... this style of fighting is a little different from what I'm used to, and I haven't gotten the hang of it yet...



99 isn't 100. Nothing she can do right now can create the red truth.







Why not do it... if you want?
N... No.



BGM: Hikari



Yeah, pretty much. The games won't continue forever, and I've lost my bet with Bern. In this game, Battler will prove that he's reached the game's truth, and then Beato's game will be destroyed in a big victory for the human side. A big victory for Bern, too, but she looks unsatisfied for some reason.
Yeah, I'm not satisfied. I didn't want such a boring victory.
The victory you did want had Beato's game board being torn to bits and Beato's true, pathetic form exposed, humiliated, and trampled on. But this victory of Battler's isn't quite like that, is it?
All this about love and promises. To end the game quietly and let her sleep in peace? That sort of ending would make anyone vomit. I didn't give Battler all that advice so that he could end things like that. I had his little sister turned to scrap meat behind his back. I had his parents and family killed horribly and horribly over and over again. That was all to spark a desire for revenge against Beato.
And now, what kind of ending is this? Have I won? Of course not! Battler's gotten his hands on a victory that neither you nor I can stand. I had to withstand a staggering period of boredom just to come all the way out to this territory, just so that I could see Beatrice lamely and pathetically torn to bits. I didn't come here to sip from a rotten yogurt Fragment like this!
Aw, your angry face is wonderful too, Bern. I see, so this is why you wanted to straighten things out for yourself at least once at the end.





If you couldn't win with the detective's authority in the last game, how do you expect to defeat Battler now that he's the Game Master? You don't have a chance at winning, even with the detective's authority, so why bother with it?
I... uh...
True, if you can't win anyway, then the detective proclamation isn't necessary. The lack will just make your loss all the more certain.
And therefore, if you manage to win in this even worse situation, that would be a miracle worthy of me. If and only if you can do that, I'll be able to forgive you.
Y-Yes. I will surely... show you that miracle...



All you can do is thoroughly expose your wretched self in a horrible punishment game, with your only weapon taken away from you, and even through it all, you'll still roll over playfully and beg to keep me entertained, scum.
...uu...



Ah, Battler. I had a look at your first twilight. Quite impressive closed rooms. I'm sure you're more talented than Beato.



It seems your fight with Erika wasn't bad, either. Think your serial murders will move along smoothly?
Who knows? My role isn't to carry out serial murders. It's to use that process to show you closed rooms that are impossible without magic, and thereby achieve victory for the witch side and prove that I have fully understood this game... no, there's one more thing.
What?
To settle things with Erika, after that evenly-matched duel we acted out last time.
...Battler...
Evenly matched...?
I know what you're thinking. That wasn't a draw, we should have won easily, so it counts as a loss.
Hey, it's not polite to eavesdrop.
Look at a mirror. It's written all over your faces.
No way! Where?! Hey, what's going on?! If you tell me it's written in ink only morons can't see, then death, death, super death for you!
...Erika.
Wh... What is it?



What happened to Dlanor this time? Are you by yourself?
NO. I have been waiting HERE.



Well, when she can't use her red longsword, Dlanor is just useless scum. There's no point in having her around, so she's hanging back.
All I can do now is record Lady Erika's REASONING.
Why won't you fight with her? Erika's reasoning and your longsword were strong because they worked together.



...You. You're the one who told Erika not to use the detective proclamation.
Oho, I don't know what you're talking about.
This fight is between me and Erika. We're going to fight with all we've got. That way, we'll be able to accept it whether we win or lose. There's no need for a mastermind behind the scenes like you.
Come now, I'm no mastermind. I'm just a theatergoer trying to relieve her boredom.
A theatergoer is someone who sits quietly in the stands and watches. That's not what we call someone who jeers at the stage and threatens or manipulates the performers.
Sorry for being an ill-mannered audience. You might not know it, but I've already paid a huge admission fee to watch this play. I intend to enjoy it until I get my money's worth.
If you get in the way of the game's progression, I can use my authority as the Game Master to boot you out of this game.
If you want to, go ahead. If you chase me out, then I'll head back with my piece, Erika. This game will be cancelled, and you won't be able to prove that you've reached the truth. A theatergoer is an observer. A truth with no observers is the same as an illusion. You need a theatergoer as a witness until Beato's game ends.
Our truth only needs to pass between the two of us! If you get in the way any further, I will boot you out by force. Then you can write around in boredom for a few centuries until you find another way to kill time.
Then why don't I?! Erika, this game is over! Good work. You were completely useless. You weren't able to overturn the dishonor of your loss, so as promised, I'll throw you into the worst Fragment. I'll toss you into the depths of oblivion with the empty popcorn buckets!
M... My master! I will... I will win... I will win no matter what! So please... let me fight Battler until the end! I don't... want to lose... and get thrown into the d... depths of oblivion...
You know I want to watch until the end, right? But Battler says he'll toss me out. Hey, what'll you do, Lambda?!
Well, I realize you've been irritated since the last game Bern, but calm down a bit. And Battler, don't provoke Bern so much. This kid can't control her emotions sometimes.
Shut up! Who can't control her emotions?!
Erika, you want to fight Battler, clear your name, and get Bern back into a good mood, right?
Y... Yes...
Battler, you want to quickly and neatly end this final game so that you can prove that you've found the truth, right?
...Yeah. This is a face-off between me and Erika. I won't let anyone else get in our way, but I won't let anyone get in Erika's way either.
B... Battler...
If both of them wish to fight, then that should be respected. Leave Bern to me. I'm the only one in the world who can calm that kid when she gets into a bad mood.
You're the same sort as her... but at least you can be reasonable.



...Hmph.
Dlanor can't use her red longsword because the detective proclamation hasn't been made. If Erika makes that, she'll regain her power right away. Right?
YES. When that happens, forgive ME.
Erika.
What?



Do you really think you can beat me as I am now without the detective's authority?
I... I can win...
Lord BATTLER. Lady Erika is herself a PIECE. She cannot disobey her master's orders. All she can do is gather the power she has, and fight for SURVIVAL.
And Dlanor, your power can't be used at all without the detective proclamation?
I need permission before unsheathing the Red KEY. One form of that permission is the detective PROCLAMATION.
Are there ways of getting that permission besides the detective proclamation?
Wh... What are you saying?! I-If you're doing this out of pity for me, that's none of your business.
Quiet. You're so flimsy by yourself that it's boring. Be quiet, detective who isn't a detective.
Gah...
The Red Key is extremely close to the red TRUTH. If and only if I am given a 'truth', I am permitted to draw my sword for items that pertain to IT.
What do you mean by a 'truth'?
For example, there are Lady Erika's duct tape SEALS.



Those caused me a lot of trouble last time, so I had all the sticky duct tape removed from the game board this time around.
A splendid MOVE.
...Erika was proud to be able to call herself the detective, wasn't she?
YES. Though her only goal was to irresponsibly solve riddles, it was a matter of pride for HER.
Then she must really be suffering now that she can't make that proclamation.
Only she could tell you THAT.





The rules require that Battler show no mercy, but they do not require that he torment Erika with cruelty.



I've been prepared to do that from the beginning.
However, you have talented allies. Dlanor, Gertrude, and Cornelia. You aren't alone.
Yeah, but they're unreliable, powerless, and useless scum.
Dlanor. Just like I was supported by Virgilia and Ronove in the past, Erika needs support, too. I know from repeated experience that playing for the human side is tough.
YES. I will assist her with all the power I POSSESS.



Hmph. And you can't even use the red truth!
Erika. I will give power, not to you, but to your allies.
Huh?! Wh-What do you think you're doing?! I'd rather die than receive your pity!





Lord BATTLER...
As the Game Master, I also acknowledge that these seals have the same effect as the red truth. This way, you'll also be able to wield that red longsword in a fight surrounding those. Right?
YES. But, are you CERTAIN?
Winning against Erika when she's less than a detective is hardly a victory. If Erika's upping the stakes, then I should have the right to do the same.
Whew, what a man! Aren't you lucky, Erika?! Now you can use a bit of red without making the detective proclamation and irritating your master.
Y... You'll regret this... I'll use these three seals... and kill you... no matter what...!
Sounds great. Come and kill me.
Gah... nnn...



UNDERSTOOD. Three rooms' worth of duct tape seals, ACCEPTED. Regarding this matter, should we consider them as being accepted retroactively, back when Lady Erika receivedd the non-sticky duct tape from Mrs. Kumasawa?
Sure, that's fine. I'll rewrite the tale. The duct tape that Erika received from Kumasawa late at night on the first day was sticky, but there was only enough left to use on three rooms. I'll apply that from here on out.
UNDERSTOOD. Lady Erika will also retroactively adjust her movements, starting before the discovery of the first twilight, taking into account that the application of this privilege is now POSSIBLE. As soon as these changes affect the progression of the game, they will be reported to the Game MASTER.
Letting you do it retroactively, even though you know which rooms the crime will occur in... that gives you a pretty big advantage. You won't have to waste tape on the other rooms.
It seems you've grown quite arrogant since become Game Master. Isn't it fun to give out charity to your pathetic opponents?





What is it?
...
If you have no business with me, I'm going. Make sure you talk with Dlanor. Don't listen to those obnoxious witches, whatever they tell you. As long as I'm on this game board, I won't let them do whatever they please.





...Understood. And you don't go easy on me. This is the final game. I'm playing to prove to Beato that I've reached the truth. By now, who wins and who loses doesn't affect that goal. So, I just want to accept you as a rival and settle this. In the game, let us suspect each other over everything as enemies. But as fellow players, let's trust each other. That's how this game is supposed to be played.
Yes... thank you... thank you... uuuu...





BGM: Happy Maria (Instrumental)





I also understand. When you become Game Master, it feels like you've become God and you get all sure of yourself!
It was the same for you, Lambda. You lost because of a stupid mistake with walking corpses. Stupid Game Masters, stupid mistakes, stupid pride, stupid losses, stupid Battler, stupid everything. Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stupid losses, stupid Battler, stupid everything. Ahahahahahaha, has a nice ring to it. Nice one, my master!
If that stupid Battler really thinks Erika's at a disadvantage, then I pity him. A detective proclamation isn't what you need to kill a moron.
Death by falling on a piece of tofu?
It'd have to be soft tofu, too.
Add some gochujang chili paste and you've got a snack that'd go great with some wine. Hahahahahahaha!





With this, I can kill Battler perfectly! I figured out those pathetic closed rooms long ago! A perfect closed room? Dumbaaaasssss! I'll show you a real perfect closed room! And I could almost cry for joy at the fact that you gave me the weapon that will finish you! My master, Lady Lambdadelta! Thank you so much for going along with this act!
It was fun. No need to thank me.
Plus, it wasn't an act.



All right! Let's use these seals at our leisure! You did great, too, Dlanor. It seems that Battler trusts you, so he believed every word you said.
...
Don't tell me you've hurt your conscience, you little murder doll.
...NO. He should have known that this was a no-holds-barred FIGHT... How foolish, Lord BATTLER. This is, without a doubt, the result of your PRIDE.




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