prof: (Default)
Quinn ([personal profile] prof) wrote2011-11-05 06:06 pm

Let's Play Homestuck


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Act 2: Raise of the Conductor's Baton


Part 4: Trouble Brewing



Link back to comic: Page 511



Rose is hard at work using your grist to build an observation deck!




TG: ok wait hold on why am i getting this stupid game for you
TG: youre the one who should be wrist deep in puppet ass

TT: What is the specific problem?

TG: the problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking puppet dong
TG: i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis

TT: Let's put this into perspective. You put up with the puppet prostate because you love it.

TG: its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here
TG: like
TG: the proboscalypse i guess

TT: Are you going to start rapping about this?
TT: Prong of flesh bereft of home
TT: Found solace 'twixt a cleft of foam.

TG: no oh jesus

TT: Of apocalypse your thoughts eclipse
TT: A painted pair of parted lips
TT: That dare through kiss to stir the air
TT: That teases tufts of orange hair.
TT: And though faces flush in lovers' fits,
TT: Hands snug in plush as gloves befit.

TG: ok dickinson if you can shut your perfumey trap for a half second
TG: i am just saying
TG: if i see one more soft bulbous bottom
TG: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit

TT: Then let's hope there will be a squishy derriere somewhere below the handle to break your fall.



Meanwhile, you decide to check out this Punch Designix thing! New machines are always excitement.



The sparse instructions on the machine itself allude to these captcha codes on the backs of every card. Interesting!



Upon entering the code and inserting the card, it gets... hole punched?

The items are stuck in the cards, now. This may have been a mistake.




TG: PUPPETS
TG: AWESOME
TG: THATS REALLY ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER


TT: John, I'm about to throw a bath tub through your wall.
TT: Watch out.

EB: wow, that was so totally unnecessary!

TT: I made a shortcut upstairs. I thought it would be a good idea to get up there and try the cards as soon as possible.
TT: Also, you weren't being terribly responsive.




EB: so why didn't you just build a way up through that hole into my dad's room?

TT: I'm more interested in further exploring the mechanics of the game than watching you discover what sort outlandish harlequin decor your father keeps in his room.

EB: oh come on. what's the big deal, i'll just climb up and go right through!

TT: Are you saying you've never wondered what's in there? Or why it's been kept a secret from you?

EB: wait, are you saying there's something, like...
EB: troubling in there?

TT: I can't see in there.
TT: But I don't have a very good feeling about it.

EB: whatever!
EB: i think i can handle a few more stupid clown paintings.




THESE STAIRS ARE NOT OSHA COMPLIANT








You are now Dave.

You'd better get out of here and find that beta OH HI it's Lil' Cal.



This kitchen is basically unusable at this point.



INVENTORY MANAGEMENT BULLSHIT



You are starting to think you aren't alone in this apartment.



A clue on the ceiling. Maybe there's something productive up in the attic!



There was basically no way that wouldn't be full of naked puppets.



Puppets averted!

Looks like Bro left a note up there, too.



Mission accepted.






Meanwhile, John! You are starting to sort out this whole punch-card thing.

It looks like the Designix punches a card with a pattern unique to an item...



Then you can use the Totem Lathe and Alchemiter to create copies of that item!



Strange things happen if you try alchemizing random gibberish codes. What is this, some sort of mutant jetpack?



There's more to this system, too.

If you stack two cards, the hole patterns overlap, forming a new pattern...



...and that pattern results in a combination of the two items!

PUNCH-CARD ITEM SYNTHESIS.



This Pogo Hammer seems quite powerful, but also a bit unpredictable to use.








All this alchemy business gives you a brilliant idea.

If you captchalogue your server disk, you can send the code to John, and...





Damn!











GG: hey!!!!
GG: how is your adventure going john?

EB: it's ok, i am making some progress, and rose finally connected again so she is helping me now.
EB: but, like...
EB: i don't think i am actually saving the world here. :(

GG: dont lose hope john i think it will all turn out for the best if you stay positive....
GG: just keep listening to your grandmothers advice!!!

EB: yeah, you're probably right.
EB: but, um...
EB: i don't think i mentioned nanna to you, did i?

GG: oh uhhh.......

EB: hmm, i dunno, maybe you talked to rose or dave about it or something.

GG: yeah maybe that was it!!

EB: they're really weird when they talk to me about you, like they're always trying convince me you have some spooky powers, but i'm always like no she seems like a pretty regular girl to me!
EB: but then when i think back maybe there are times when it seems like you know some things?

GG: i want to explain lots of things to you....
GG: some things that i know
GG: im just......
GG: oh! john!!!
GG: i forgot i was messaging you about that meteor that fell near my house!

EB: oh yeah.
EB: what ever happened with that?

GG: well.....
GG: its hard to explain!!!
GG: but...
GG: i know what it is now!
GG: and now i know everythings going to be ok!!!

EB: so what is it???
EB: or is this just another thing you're "waiting" to tell me???

GG: oh gosh john i really want to tell you all this stuff!!!
GG: but i cant yet
GG: i really think you need to wake up first!

EB: AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EB: stop being so confusing!!!!

GG: lol :)
GG: anyway time for you to go john
GG: i think you have some company!!!
GG: <3


-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at ??:?? --





Something huge is coming up to your platform.



NEXT CHAPTER: A new playable character!


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