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Intermission: Don't Bleed on the Suits

Part 2: You Hate Time Travel

You are now in possession of Die's voodoo doll. It seems like a good way to keep track of who's dead, not that you'd ever abuse its powers to make more people dead. What's the point if you don't get your hands dirty?

Then again, it might be nice to have when Lord English shows up. Rumor is that he's more or less indestructible.

Trace is following someone's Future Trail. You aren't really sure whose, anymore.

He's found Doze!

Doze unslows himself and starts mumbling something about his hat.

Well played, Deuce.

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar Snowman Stitch Sawbuck Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

Meanwhile, a badly injured Fin tries to take out Deuce from the past.

With all the blood loss and dizziness, though, he's too worried about accidentally hitting that bomb.

YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL

Stitch overlooks the damage that spacetime is causing to English's Cairo Overcoat.

Good thing he has a damn good tailor.

Stitch has a group of effigies that take damage whenever the real person takes damage. This also means that he can heal them by sewing up, so long as he can do it in time--

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar Snowman Stitch Sawbuck Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

This is normally the part where you'd kill the bastard, but you want Stitch alive.

His powers will come in handy for fighting English later.

For some reason, you pull Crowbar's pin.

You're now in an alternate timeline where Crowbar is still alive.

Looks like there's a firefight going on. Only one thing could make this more dangerous.

[S] Snowman.

All gunplay stops when Snowman is in the room.

If you kill her, you destroy the universe.

Back to the fight! You infliect some grievous bodily harm on Sawbuck.

As it always does, this causes both of you to jump to a random point in time. This looks like the past.

Attempts to injure Crowbar turn into more injuries to Sawbuck.

Where the fuck are we NOW?

Years in the past... which is to say, for now, the present...

a Scurrilous Straggler watches the goings on with interest.

Nice hat, he thinks.

The general accepted strategy with Sawbuck is to keep injuring him until time sorts itself out.

No use overthinking this time shit.

You are now back in the original timeline, but you brought Crowbar and another Sawbuck with you.

Now you're all in the... oh god, TWO Sawbucks. This is becoming some serious bullshit.

Time travel sure can be a... DOUBLE EDGED SWORD.

Wait, that was terrible. Good thing nobody was around to hear it but you.

Hate to chop all of your heads off with this sword. Real sorry about that. My bad.

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze (Dead in... I think the future?) Trace (Same) Clover Fin Die Crowbar (Twice) Snowman Stitch (Ish) Sawbuck (Twice) Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

As long as you've got him in here, might as well have Stitch stitch up Spades's effigy to fix that eye.

Biscuits and Eggs, later, are busy being shot up by Droog and Deuce.

You're not even really sure what their deal is.

Stitch, meanwhile, gets some ideas about setting fire to Spades's effigy.

They don't last long.

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar (Twice) Snowman Stitch (Ish) Sawbuck (Twice) Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

This is why you took Crowbar with you from the other timeline. You needed his crowbar.

Crowbar's crowbar neutralizes the effects of any time artifact it destroys.

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar (Twice) Snowman Stitch (Ish) Sawbuck (Twice) Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

What's this asshole so worked up about?

Clover insists that breaking the vault with the crowbar would be the worst luck imaginable.

It's almost impossible to kill Clover. He's just too damn lucky.

If you tried to shoot him, the gun would just jam or something.

Suddenly, Cans crashes through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.

Droog is punched clean into next week.

You'll have to do the rest of this operation without him.

Boxcars is punched out of this calendar and into an entirely new calendar.

Now he has to put up with an entire year of spirited horses.

You're just sick of all this time bullshit.

Screw the consequences, let's wreck this safe.

FELT ROSTER Lord English Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar Snowman Stitch Sawbuck Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

MIDNIGHT CREW ROSTER Spades Slick Diamons Droog Clubs Deuce Hearts Boxcars