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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.

Part 18: The Highblood

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

CG: JOHN.
CG: I'M NOT SURE WHY I'M TELLING YOU THIS.
CG: I GUESS IT'S JUST OUT OF A SENSE OF OBLIGATION AT THIS POINT.
CG: SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW.

EB: know what?

CG: I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE
CG: THIS MIGHT EVEN BE THE LAST TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME.
CG: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING, THE LAST TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME WILL BE THE FIRST TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME.
CG: I MEAN THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.
CG: BECAUSE FROM MY PERSPECTIVE I COULD BE DEAD SOON.

EB: oh no!
EB: are you in some sort of trouble?
EB: is it jack?
EB: karkat???
EB: what's going on?

CG: OH GOD THE HONKING
CG: SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A DOUCHE TO YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS.
CG: I HOPE YOU CAN SUCCEED AS A LEADER WHERE I FAILED MISERABLY.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

That was distressing! You'd better message him back to see if he's OK.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

EB: karkat!!!
EB: hey buddy, you were making me worried there...
EB: are you ok?

CG: WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET GLOBE TICKLING FUCK.
CG: EGBERT, I JUST GOT DONE ERUPTING A WHOLE VOLCANO OF MERCILESS FUCK YOU ON THE PRIMITIVE VILLAGE LOCATED SQUARELY ON YOUR CROTCH.

EB: oh god, this is not right!
EB: you aren't supposed to hate me anymore, you're supposed to be kinda my friend, sorta!

CG: WE JUST GOT DONE WITH OUR SECOND CONVERSATION. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS?

EB: this isn't good, i need to talk to future you!
EB: i think maybe you are running from jack?

CG: OF COURSE WE'RE RUNNING FROM JACK, I JUST GOT DONE FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT.
CG: I CAN TELL THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING TO BE A UTTER FUCKING JOY TO PARTICIPATE IN.
CG: I HONESTLY ENVY ANYONE IN THE POSITION OF NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH READING IT.

EB: no, i just want to talk to future you. :(

CG: NO YOU DON'T
CG: TAKE IT FROM ME
CG: THE GUY IS A BASTARD.

Stay cool.

Stay cool and don't flip the fuck out.

Cooler than that.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T, 1 H4V3 GR4V3 4ND S3R1OUS N3WS TO R3PORT
GC: 1 H4V3 D1SCOV3R3D TH3 SC3N3 OF 4 R34L L1F3 MURD3R!
GC: T4VROS W4S TH3 V1CT1M >:[
GC: 1 H4V3 CONDUCT3D MY PR3ML1M1N4RY FOR3NS1C 4N4LYS1S OF TH3 SC3N3, BUT MY F1ND1NGS H4V3 B33N MOSTLY 1NCONCLUS1V3
GC: (1 4M ONLY PR3T3ND1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S 4NY CH4NC3 1T W4S NOT VR1SK4, B3C4US3 OTH3RW1S3 1T WOULD B3 NO FUN)
GC: NOW 1 MUST 4TT3MPT TO R3V1V3 TH3 V1CT1M...
GC: 3333UGH...

CG: TEREZI? ARE YOU THERE???
CG: OH FUCK, TAVROS IS DEAD TOO?
CG: TEREZI LISTEN TO ME YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THERE.
CG: VRISKA IS THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS.
CG: PUT YOUR FUCKING GLASSES BACK ON. GOD DAMN IT.

GC: honk.

CG: AAAAUUUUUUGH OHFUCK OHFUCK OHFUCK OHFUCK OHFUCK OHFUCK OHFUCK

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

CG: EQUIUS, ARE YOU THERE?
CG: ARE YOU STILL REALLY STRONG?
CG: LIKE, IS THAT STILL YOUR THING?

CT: D --> I am still e%ceptionally STRONG
CT: D --> Strength continues to be my STRONGEST attribute

CG: OK GOOD.
CG: GAMZEE IS ON A RAMPAGE
CG: HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL IF WE DON'T STOP HIM.

CT: D --> Are you saying the highb100d has finally embraced his position atop the hierarchy

CG: NO I'M SAYING HE FUCKING SNAPPED AND WANTS TO MURDER US ALL

CT: D --> Yes e%actly

CG: DAMMIT, WHY DOES THIS CONVERSATION HAVE TO BE SO PREDICTABLY TERRIBLE
CG: ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO
CG: NO, ORDERING YOU TO DO
CG: IS GO FIND GAMZEE AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS, OR POSSIBLY TWO HALVES OF A BROKEN BOW, BEFORE HE KILLS ANYONE ELSE.

CT: D --> I certainly appreciate the debauchery inherent in receiving an order of such gravity from a rogue-b100ded foulmouth
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> I'm not entirely positive I can raise a hand to the highb100d

CG: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT IN ALL THE MOST FUCKED UP WAYS POSSIBLE?
CG: YOU'RE GETTING OFF ON THIS AREN'T YOU
CG: IF YOU ASK ME FOR A TOWEL I AM GOING TO FLIP MY SHIT RIGHT OFF THIS FUCKING METEOR
CG: IT WILL JUST BE ME, SPINNING AND SPINNING AND SPINNING INTO ENDLESS NOTHING, SCREAMING
CG: I FORBID YOU FROM GETTING OFF ON ANY OF THIS

CT: D --> The b100d
CT: D --> It is just so
CT: D --> E%quisitely purple
CT: D --> The highb100d would benefit from a proper enculturation into the aristocracy

CG: I DON'T THINK HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR ETIQUETTE LESSONS, OR HOW A TRUE GENTLEMAN IS TO GO ABOUT HANDLING A PROPER FUCKING HORSE TEAT
CG: SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE ARE IN DANGER HERE.

CT: D --> I'll take measures to ensure our comrades aren't injured
CT: D --> If it comes to close quarters skirmish, I will try to be prepared

CG: HOW FUCKING REASSURING!
CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT, I DON'T GET IT
CG: YOU KISS THE GROUND THIS LUNATIC WALKS ON BECAUSE HE HAS PURPLE BLOOD
CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM RIPPING ON ERIDAN, I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DON'T LIKE HIM
CG: SPEAKING OF WHICH
CG: HE'S ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE TOO

CT: D --> How many of us are rampaging murderously, e%actly

CG: I DON'T KNOW, AT LEAST THREE PROBABLY, BUT WHO EVEN KNOWS AT THIS POINT
CG: THE POINT IS, IF YOU SEE HIM, WOULD YOU MIND SNAPPING HIS STUPID WAND IN HALF OR SOMETHING?
CG: AND THEN CHOKE HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN SHITTY PRETENTIOUS SCARF.

CT: D --> I'd prefer not to interact with him
CT: D --> His advances make me uncomfortable

CG: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
CG: I WOULD HIGH FIVE YOU IF IT WOULDN'T SHATTER EVERY BONE IN MY HAND.
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU COULD CARRY OUT MY ORDERS IN THE LEAST PERVERSE WAY POSSIBLE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
CG: JUST KILL ONE OR MORE OF THOSE ASSHOLES AND GET BACK TO ME, OK?
CG: I NEED YOU TO COME THROUGH FOR ME, BECAUSE WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF MANPOWER HERE.

CT: D --> We are

CG: YES DIDN'T I MENTION? FEFERI, KANAYA AND TAVROS ARE DEAD, SOLLUX IS UNCONSCIOUS, AND TEREZI IS MISSING.

CT: D --> Oh shoot
CT: D --> E%cuse my vulgarity

CG: JUST DO WHAT I SAY, OK.

CT: D --> I will 100k into it

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

People have been busy getting murdered in here, too! Time for MORE FORENSICS.

Another impaling. Clearly the work of the same perp.

There's something different about this one, though...

Hmm...

[S] Equius: Seek the Highblood.

EQUIUS: D --> I regard the furrocious moirail stoically
EQUIUS: D --> I mean
EQUIUS: D --> I greet Ms. Leijon without issuing a statement of a%ion in the first person
NEPETA: :33 < *ms leijon pawnders over whether mr zahhak is still feeling blue over his depurrted robo sw33heart and n33ds more ch33ring up*
EQUIUS: D --> Mr Zahhak, I mean I, will probably be feeling b100 about that for some time, yes
EQUIUS: D --> But he is, darn it, I am, e%ceptionally STRONG and will cope with it admirably
NEPETA: :33 < we can always curl up in the pile again to talk about f33lings :33
EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, for goodness sa%es, a man can only di%uss feelings for so much time
EQUIUS: D --> We e%amined my emotional state until we were both bl00 in the face
NEPETA: :33 < h33h33h33h33!
EQUIUS: D --> What
NEPETA: :33 < b100 b100 b100 b100 b100
NEPETA: :33 < i just love how you say that word!
EQUIUS: D --> I know

NEPETA: :33 < you mean about gamz33? h33h33!
NEPETA: :33 < im still not sure if i can believe it!
EQUIUS: D --> That 's because you still refuse to 100k upon our b100dlines as the deciding behoovioral factors they are
EQUIUS: D --> His is the richest and most noble b100d possible among the high land dwellers
EQUIUS: D --> As such, he is prone to being more violent and unpredictable than any of us
EQUIUS: D --> Not everyone has been as lucky as I in the domain of moirallegiance
NEPETA: :33 < oh! thats so sw33t equius, you know i will always be ready to tacklepounce you when you start getting especially furrious :33
EQUIUS: D --> Yes, which is among the reasons why I must make your prote%ion a high priority
EQUIUS: D --> The highb100d has joined a stable of those who are becoming increasingly volatile and murderous as we remain stranded in this laboratory
EQUIUS: D --> I command you to steer clear of them, do you understand
NEPETA: :33 < well, if youre refurring to vwiskers, i was already plenty scared of her!
NEPETA: :33 < and if you are talking about mr ampurra, he has always given me the cr33ps anyway! so there is nothing to fret over
EQUIUS: D --> E%cellent
EQUIUS: D --> I would still prefur you hide, I mean prefer
NEPETA: :33 < hide? where? :oo
EQUIUS: D --> Behind that gait
NEPETA: :33 < gait? you mean gate? what gate??
NEPETA: :33 < what are you STALKING about!!!
EQUIUS: D --> I mean that door over there, you goshdarned sillyface
NEPETA: :33 < oh!
NEPETA: :33 < kay! :33 <33

EQUIUS: D --> I command you to go hide, as we di%ussed
NEPETA: :33 < sure!
NEPETA: :33 < but there are lots of nuts on the loose out there, so dont stick your neck out and take any big frisks!
EQUIUS: D --> I will e%act caution, even when safety 100% to be 100% assured
EQUIUS: D --> Even so
EQUIUS: D --> I would still like to take the opportunity to say
EQUIUS: D --> Goodbye
NEPETA: :33 < well ok, goodbye!
NEPETA: :33 < but you had better believe i will s33 you again soon, equius!

But you can't go yet, Equius!

SILLINESS IS MANDATORY.

EQUIUS: D --> That 's not how I talk
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *EQUIUS COMMAND STRONG MEOWSCULAR CAT GIRL TO GET INTO ROLE BETTER* B33
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *HE COMMANDS IT!!!!!!!!!*
EQUIUS: D --> Fine
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *I, again as a lithe clawed female wearing a preposterous hood, I mean prepawsterous, strike a supine posture on the floor, darn it, pawsture*
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *RAWR, HULKING BRUTE NO OBEY COMMAND, TOO STRONG FOR TOUCHY CUDDLY STUFF PURR USUAL!* BPP
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *The scruffy haired, saucer eyed smart alec takes issue with the tone of the girl currently posing as said hulking brute*
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *She/he wonders if he/she appurreciates that the pawerful nobleman currently meow%querading as her/him would be more than happy to accommeowdate said cuddly stuff, outrageous STRONGNESS purrmitting*
NEPETA: :33 < equius, dammit! why do you always have to make this so cerebral!
EQUIUS: D --> What am I doing wrong
NEPETA: :33 < well you dont always have to announce who you are purrtending to be in every line! and you dont always have to point out that its just purrtend!
NEPETA: :33 < in fact, that is sort of an RPing no no
EQUIUS: D --> How would you recommend I approach the absurdist charade, then
NEPETA: :33 < oh i dunno, just by having fun and having a sense of humor about it and such! and not sneaking in sneaky sneakret little barbs of disdain for the exercise, i am not dumb you know, i catch those like scared little scurrying rodents!
EQUIUS: D --> I was having fun
EQUIUS: D --> The line about the belly scratching was e%ceptionally playful, and I am to be commended
NEPETA: :33 < yes yes, ok youre right. that was really great!
NEPETA: :33 < do more of that. ok ready? go!
EQUIUS: D --> I think I'm out of material though
NEPETA: :33 < errrrrrg! fiiiine, we can stop
NEPETA: :33 < here, take your gross stinky glasses back, SWEATQUIUS
EQUIUS: D --> Very well, here is your hood
NEPETA: :33 < umm
NEPETA: :33 < why dont
NEPETA: :33 < you hang on to that
NEPETA: :33 < forever!
EQUIUS: D --> I can 't tell you how touching I find this gesture, Nepeta
NEPETA: :33 < dont mention it! <33

Enough dicking around! Time to hide.

But it's so frustrating just staying in one spot. Surely Equius won't mind if you explore these gratings a bit?

h33h33! Next for what?

Meanwhile, Equius seeks the highblood...

EQUIUS: D --> Have you seen the highb100d about
EQUIUS: D --> Pardon, *smelled*
GAMZEE: heheh.

GAMZEE: it's the peasantblood.
EQUIUS: D --> Is that a joke
GAMZEE: if your blood.
GAMZEE: IS A MOTHERFUCKING GAG.
GAMZEE: then soon.
GAMZEE: IT WILL BE RUNNING.

EQUIUS: D --> The profanity is sickening
EQUIUS: D --> You'll stop.
GAMZEE: you'll...
GAMZEE: KNEEL. >:O]
EQUIUS: D --> You are the highb100d, I should have known
EQUIUS: D --> Remove your counterfeit eyewear at once
EQUIUS: D --> Uh

GAMZEE: i'll show you what i motherfucking got.

EQUIUS: D --> What
GAMZEE: it was.
GAMZEE: A MOTHERFUCKING.
GAMZEE: joke.
GAMZEE: HONK.
GAMZEE: you really should kneel.
EQUIUS: D --> The volume of your voice keeps flu%uating
GAMZEE: I SAID.
GAMZEE: kneel motherfucker.

Equius kneels.

Gamzee subjuggulates.

Equius dies.

Nepeta seeks vengeance.

Gamzee intercepts.

NEXT TIME: Are you next?

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