prof | Let's Play Umineko Chiru, Episode 5 Scene 18: The Eagle's Flight

<< | ^^ | >>

Gertrude

A member of Eiserne Jungfrau, the 7th District Repentance Enforcement Agency of the Great Court of Heaven. She is a high-level Assistant Inquisitor and a first-class minister.

As an Assistant Inquisitor of Heresy, she is tasked with aiding during interrogations and hearings.

Because, in practice, most missions end up as executions, she is usually assigned the job of using barriers to block the target's means of escape.

When it comes to fulfilling her missions, she is calm, flawless, expressionless and emotionless. However, most of the time, she is quite compassionate, and is loved by many of her juniors.

She has already passed her exam to become a full Inquisitor and was offered to fill a vacant position in a different district, but she refused. She waits for a reassignment under Dlanor, to whom she owes a great debt, and continues to serve alongside her as an assistant. Therefore, though she is an assistant, she is treated as an Inquisitor (third-class archbishop).

BGM: Dir

You'll become... Kinzo? Are you saying you'll become Kinzo and re-enact his disappearance from this room? You couldn't possibly think you can deny my checkmate, right? Fool!

What is this man SAYING?

Hey, new girls. This is your first game, correct? Sorry, but calling checkmate after something like that is totally useless. Yeah, it's all useless!

Is such a thing possible? The doors and window have both been denied!

So you finally figured it out, you damn geezer. Hidden doors and hiding under the bed... all that stuff is so pitiful it brings tears to my eyes. This is THE Ushiromiya Kinzo we're talking about here. There's got to be a more thrilling and exciting answer.

Exactly. How pitiful that even I couldn't think of it, even though it was about me. And how pitiful that the only one of my relatives to understand me is Battler the kid who's returned after being gone for six years. Battler, take my place. Do not shame me!

Sure, gramps! I'll teach these guests what the dignity of the Ushiromiya family is all about!

What are you planning to do... father?

Wahhahahahahaha! Natsuhi, Beatrice, watch! We'll show you what being the Ushiromiya family head truly is!

That Battler, what is he trying to prove...?

There's no way he can do anything. This is a perfect closed room!

Battler calls Natsuhi over to the window to arrange something. What's he up to?

Of COURSE. Gertrude, Cornelia, palace guards. Double check that the seal of this closed room is PERFECT.

Please, allow me to speak. Our barrier is perfect.

Allow me to speak. There are no hidden doors, and escape will not be granted through either door or window! Palace guards, when Battler hits the barrier, fire your arrows without hesitation!

Siesta Corps, roger. Battler, prepare yourself!

Escaping from this room is impossible!

...But he'll do it, nyeh.

H-How?!

He's certain he can succeed even without any basis. That's what it means to be the Ushiromiya family head, nyeh!

BGM: Endless Nine

Then, I stop answering and sleep. Well, realistically speaking, I probably get tired of all that talking and only pretend to be asleep.

Ahahahaha! You really do get it!

I... I see that father has gone to sleep... bow silently, and leave.

After seeing that grandfather was asleep, Natsuhi probably did an inspection of the room before leaving. Of course, she had Shannon and the others clean it every day, but she still checked it thoroughly herself. Making sure there was no dust piling up. Making sure that he hadn't run out of any consumables.

Y-Yes. This is the room of the precious family head, so I check everything carefully myself instead of relying entirely on the servants. I always do that.

In other words, it's not just dust on the windowsill like you see all the time on TV. She checks to see that there's enough soap and toilet paper in the washroom. Though she probably doesn't have to do it every day, she's very devoted.

Th-That is my routine. I mustn't slack off in my inspection of the head's room for even a single day.

So what's your point? Please keep any showing off to a minimum.

Since we're inside the study, you can probably tell, but even though we call it a study, it wouldn't be wrong to call it a second house inside the mansion. It has a sleeping room, a study, a washroom, and even a toilet and bath. In other words, it isn't a single room. You could call it a full house.

Thank you for the explanation of the room's LAYOUT. However, the move of having him hide somewhere in this room has already been DEFEATED.

He isn't hiding. However, there has to be several blind spots. For example, if Natsuhi went into the bathroom to check the amount of toilet paper, most of the study would be out of her sight range. In other words, for almost every location in the study, the observer would have disappeared.

Good. It's being filled with the power of darkness. Heheheheheheh!

And so what if the observer... if Natsuhi left...? What next?!

When grandfather noticed that fussy Natsuhi leaving, he got up.

Why?!

Because Natsuhi was in the blind spot of the bathroom, it becomes possible for grandfather to walk about the study at will.

Warning, Battler is approaching the study door!

Allow me to speak. A noise rings out when the lock on the study door is released. Know that you cannot leave through the door without Natsuhi thinking something was odd.

Allow me to speak. Let it be said that Natsuhi did not hear the sound of the door opening while in the room. Please, allow me to speak once more. Kinzo entering or exiting through the door will not be permitted.

Let it be said that this is a useless struggle! It is foolish!

...It's true that I can't break through the red of that chick by the door. But what about you over there by the window?

BGM: Dread of the Grave

Make sure you hold that barrier of yours up tight, 'cause you're gonna be blasted away, got it?

Please, allow me to speak. You are Battler's target, Cornelia. I ask that you be on your guard.

Fool! God, have pity on this foolish lamb!

I'm no sheep. The head of the Ushiromiya family is an eagle. Don't think you can keep me shut up in this study forever with just a flimsy window like that!

Th.. This guy... couldn't possibly mean to...!

Ah! Th-This is... agh. A-Allow me to speak! There is no way to defeat my red! Know that your wish will not be granted!

Wh-Why would Kinzo go out the window on his own?!

To me, jumping out into the rainy sky on a mad night is nothing more than a bit of fun to go with a drink!

But this is the third floor, right?! It's impossible!

Even you've jumped down a flight of stairs at least once in your life, right? Three stories is nothing for Kinzo!

Th-That's... r-ridiculous...!

E-Endless Nine! Magic Resistance Power, Endless Nine!

Cornelia, you can't block it! Retreat!

Cornelia, repair the BARRIER!

As you wish, Commander Dlanor! Kn-Know that you will not be allowed to break this!

The impassable barrier shatters like glass before the power of the twin heads of the Ushiromiya family.

Y-You won't get through, you won't! Let me speak, let me speak! Be that as it may, this is the third floor! How could a wingless human escape from the window?! Know that you won't get through, you woooooon't!

Just quit your whining and watch!

This is the answeeeeer, aaaaaaaahhhh!

BGM: Hello Your World

...Well DONE. When you fall into the courtyard, whether you live or die, it won't change the fact that Kinzo could have defeated this closed ROOM! You, who have thrown away your life and jumped, are a MARTYR! Well done, you have smashed our closed room BARRIER. Splendid, Ushiromiya Battler!

Sure, bring it on. This game is surprisingly unrelenting.

Dlandor's dual blue and red swords lash out to cut Battler down... but strike only air.

...Yes, I KNEW. That answer of yours doesn't violate Knox's 8th.

Here it comes. Don't regret it.

Yes, COME.

Battler and Dlanor fall to the courtyard below. Dlanor lands with a thud, but Battler's impact is soft and graceful.

The study is no longer a closed room. They can finally escape!

Th-There's no way we'll let you escape, Beatrice, Illusion of the Witch!

Siesta Corps, shoot the witch! Shoot her dead!

Alignment conflict. Unable to fire.

Allow me to speak. I have no barrier prepared which can block Battler's blue truth.

The great Golden Witch isn't gonna be defeated by something like that geezer's grubby study! It's still just the first twilight! I'll teach these newcomers that your game isn't that easy!

Crap, I think I'm in love. Are all the Ushiromiya family heads guys like this?

If you were to write down the unprecedented feats of Ushiromiya Kinzo, you would probably have an uproarious tale longer than all the grimoires in the study put together. It seems the tale of the next head will be worth writing down as well. In fact, it is already being written. It's already a long, long tale. Pukukuku...

Erika..

Wh... What is it...?

I'm not giving the riddle of the Golden Witch up to you. I'll solve it. That riddle belongs to the two of us. Right, Beato?

Y... Yes! My riddle is... yo... yo...

Yo?

Erika's protest is met with a unanimous agreement of the same single sentiment:

You couldn't put something like this past Ushiromiya Kinzo.

Well, I'll give you 60 points... Kinzo would have done it with a bit more flash in his younger days. It needs some more tweaking?

Oh, and how much should it be tweaked?

W-Well, um, he might have jummped down with me in his arms!

Got it. Next time, I'll jump down with you in my arms.

I... If you think you can, just try and do it...

Beatrice's form vanishes as everyone rushes to look into the courtyard, shocked that Battler is okay.

Here I go.

Yes, COME.

This is my blue truth.

Beato's game isn't easy. It's even doubtful whether the fallbacks of the mystery genre work here. Your swordsmanship isn't bad, but you should be a bit more flexible in your thinking.

The killing wedge shatters into drops of rain, barely touching Dlanor at all.

Battler raises his arms towards the people above.

That face of yours... it's so incredibly laughable that I'd like to smash it and put a frame around it. Hehehehehe, my double is so... pathetic, pathetic, lame, lame, heheheheheheheheeheheheheehihihihihihihhhihihihihihhahahahyahahhaahhaahahaha!

This... resentment... will definitely... definitely... gwaaaaaaaahhh! Ushiromiya Battler... Beatrice... Ushiromiya... Natsuhiiiiiii... iiihihihihihihihi! Hihyahhahahahahahahahahaah!

<< | ^^ | >>