Let's Play Umineko, Episode 3 Scene 23: The Witch's Courtroom

[prof]

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BGM: Wings

45, understood, attacking everywhere!
410, understood. Die, Battler!





Wha... i-i-it was deflected?! There's no barrier, it was deflected with resonance alone... 45, Target Measurement!
45, understood... huh... whaaaa?! Th-This is... am I broken? Am I insane? A-Anti-Magic Resistance Power, Endless Nine... E-Even mythical-class magical attacks won't be effective on the target!
How foolish. When Battler is serious, magical arrows and the like aren't even enough to make his hair tremble.
What the hell are you guys doing? Are you playing or something?
Eeeeek... m-monster...



B-Battler... what... is this supposed to be...?
Just like you see. My opponent isn't you. It's her! The impostor over there, who's faking your name!
Ack...!
I'm fighting with a witch. An opponent who calls herself a witch is set up, and I deny witches by crushing them. I've had more than enough of your arrogance.
What do you mean, magic? What do you mean, witches?! You aren't a witch! I'll take that mask off and tear it to shreds! Virgilia, get ready to fight!



H... Hmm...
Beato, sit back and watch! I'll tear it off! I'll thoroughly dismantle this fake witch! I won't let someone like this call herself a witch! You protected the honor of true witches!
Uh, I, umm...
You don't need to say anything. On your behalf, I'll teach her that the name of the Golden Witch definitely isn't that cheap!
B... Battler...



BGM: Lost Paradise

Foolish people. Do you really think you can win against me with twisted logic?!
Yeah, I do. I'll crush all of your twisted logic, Eva!
I-I am not Eva! That is the name of the old shell that I shed. I am a true witch, born inside of her!
Don't try to trick me! Your true form isn't a witch or anything like it, but a flesh and blood human. The human culprit, Ushiromiya Eva! Virgilia, reconstruct the second twilight!



Huh? Ridiculous! Come, arise, try to remember! What kind of form did Ushiromiya Hideyoshi have?!
What? What's this supposed to be?
It's summoning of the dead. It's easy for a witch to bring even the dead to the stand for testimony...



Witness summons. Ushiromiya Hideyoshi's testimony. Come, Hideyoshi, speak!
...I was taking care of Eva in the room the whole time. Of course, Eva didn't leave the room.
Eva. Around here, testimony that isn't red isn't worth crap. I demand that he repeats it again in red!
Oh yeah, that's right. Sure, say it in red!



See, look. This makes it impossible for Eva to be the culprit, right?! How will you counter this?
Ridiculous. That move's so lame, I could yawn. Beato never used such childish tricks, even once!
...Battler...



I-I refuse to repeat it...! Hideyoshi's evidence is sufficient! There's no need to repeat that, right?!
So you have stepped down. Mercy is unnecessary. This is check.
Yeah, I'll take it. This opponent is slow!
Check! Maybe Hideyoshi didn't leave the room the whole time, but saying that he was taking care of you the whole time is a bright red lie! Therefore, no alibi exists for you! You had a chance to slip out of the room and kill Rosa and Maria! If you think you can dodge that, try proclaiming in red that Eva didn't take a step outside the room! You can't, right?! Checkmate!
Wh-What is that...?! I don't get it...!
Sorry, even if you aren't used to the rules, beating your opponent down with all your strength is how this game is played... right, Beato?!
Hmm...
The witch side resigns. Let us continue to the next game. Next is the fourth twilight through the sixth twilight.



Virgilia, next crime! Let's reconstruct the case with dad and the rest!
Understood. Three people: Rudolf, Kyrie, and Hideyoshi went to the mansion, and were killed there.
My move won't change. Eva, you are the culprit! This time, you don't even have an alibi from Hideyoshi! You claim that you were sleeping in that room all by yourself, but that's not true! If you can proclaim it in red, just try it!
I refuse, so tell me! Eva is just one woman, and the people who were killed were three adults holding two guns, right? How did she kill them all by herself? How did she do it with those stakes as weapons? Like everyone keeps talking about, how is this stake-shooting device constructed?! Explain that! As long as you can't explain it, even if Eva doesn't have an alibi, it doesn't mean that it was possible for Eva to commit murder!



In short! Even if I can't explain how the stake-shooting device is constructed, that doesn't deny that it exists!
Wh-What is that?! Could something that ridiculous work?!
A Devil's Proof is effective.
Agreed. Battler can claim that a stake-shooting device exists without bearing the responsibility of explaining how it is constructed. The witch side cannot object to this move.
N-Not bad... how pushy...
Heh! Well, there's this ill-natured witch who trained me well. This is check! Try saying in red that Eva didn't take a step out of that room! That's right, you shouldn't be able to say it! If you can't say it, it's over, checkmate!
Th-That's so irrational! This is... messed up!
Those are the rules of this game. How about some black tea first? And some delicious cookies, as well.
I don't need all that! Oh, that pisses me off! So you fight like a coward just because you can't win with magic...!
Don't get irritated. Drink some tea or something. I'll take mine straight. How about you, Beato?
I... I am fine... more importantly, Battler, don't let your guard down. Your opponent is only unfamiliar with the rules. It will only really start once they get the gist of it...
But I'll crush her. I'll thoroughly crush her, because she isn't a witch. If I accept her as a witch, all of your stubbornness counts for nothing! I don't care what kind of irrational argument or twisted logic I have to use, 'cause I'll crush her with all of my heart and soul!



Eva was the only one who was there when Krauss and Natsuhi disappeared, so she once again has no alibi, and once again can't repeat her excuse in red.

Eva once again tried to ask how she could have strangled them both, but Battler countered with the Devil's Proof. Three volleys, three wins for Battler.



BGM: Mirage Coordinator

What is she thinking? Why would she return once more to a situation she has lost?
I see... this is a rare attack, which you do not use. Be careful.



That's right. In the end, three people went outside to get food.
It's a pain, so I'll add in some red and say it. Kyrie was thinking that food was unnecessary. Since going without food for about a day wouldn't kill them, she claimed that they should not leave the guest house. And yet, she herself suggested that they leave the guest house to get food. Isn't this a conradiction?
Yes, a spectacular contradiction. There is a contradiction in Kyrie's pattern of behavior.
That contradiction was created by me, using magic! In other words, I controlled Kyrie using magic, and made her say that to lure the sacrifices outside!
R-Ridiculous! There's no way that kind of magic exists!
It's a Devil's Proof, right?! Just because you don't know about that magic doesn't deny its existence! And I don't bear the responsibility of acting out that magic for you. You have even less room to counter this argument! Hahahaha, I wonder if it's all right to fight this way!
Yes. It is a truly spectacular move. Battler, your response, if you please.
You sure have brought in a weird argument. So, just what is it?
She has attacked your piece through Ushiromiya Kyrie's pattern of behavior, which had her saying that they should not go outside and head to the mansion in order to get food. Even so, she took the initiative, and took the contradictory action of going to get food. As long as you cannot explain this contradiction, this violent move claims that it was due to magic.
Well, Kyrie probably thought that too, in the beginning. But she probably, uh, thought about various things, and changed her mind, deciding food really was necessary...
She is claiming that this change of heart is due to magic. In short, while it might be extremely difficult, you must explain the reason for Kyrie's change of heart.
What are you saying... You're talking about the inside of Kyrie's head, right?! Can I also summon Kyrie's ghost and question her?! Beato! Can't you call Kyrie here or something?!
She cannot. That is a move permitted only to the witch's side.
Sorry...
Aaaaaahh, fuck! She was probably, um... thinking of us kids, and, uh, thought that the food was necessary, and...
You must make that claim objectively. You need concrete proof that Kyrie changed her mind and decided that food really was necessary for some specific reason. For example, if someone heard her say that, or if it was written down somewhere.



It is possible to hypothesize endlessly as to the reason behind her change of heart, and it is impossible to crush all of those endless possibilities.
A detestably spectacular move. If Battler were to have a method of countering, it could probably only be that move.
What move is that...?
I wonder what kind of move it could be. I have the feeling that it was Milady's specialty, but I cannot remember.
Quit being stingy and tell me!
Beatrice. There is no answer that will be given to those who stop thinking themselves. Think. Think in your own way!
Why don't you resign right now? And I'll corner you with even more red. Until the last instant before she died, Kyrie preserved her pattern of behavior which states 'not going to get food = not going to the mansion'! And yet, she took the initiative and headed for the mansion. She was pushing a cart, trying to carry food. Why that contradiction? Because I controlled her with magic! This is proof that my magic exists, and that I am a witch!
Shut the hell up! Are you saying that she never even changed her mind?! The whole time until she died, Kyrie thought 'we don't need food, don't go to the mansion'? Then why did she step forward herself and say that they should go to get food, and go to the mansion?! Are you saying that Kyrie was being controlled with magic?! That's stupid! How should I break through this magic?! If only Kyrie were here, and just told us the reason behind her change of heart... No, I've already been told in red that she never even changed her mind...! What should I do?! There's no move that the human side can counter with!
The more I learn about this game, the more advantageous the rules seem for the witch, right? Even if I lose in a lot of areas, if I win in just one, that alone can display the existence of a witch. In other words, Battler has no way of denying witches other than a complete victory! How truly funny that even though you thought you could corner me and call me Eva, it's all been turned over by nothing more than the inside of Kyrie's head, right?! Hahahahahaha! Just do it, resign! Why don't you accept it? Why don't you lose?!
Damn iiiiiit... it's impossible for a human to show... I can't do anything but guess what the dead were thinking when they acted. Furthermore, I can't deny magic just by conjecture. To break through magic, I need objective proof as to why Kyrie had a change of heart... But it's been said in red that no proof exists as to why she wanted food... What should I do, damn it, damn it...!
Battler. Is this your resignation?
'Not going to get food = Not going to the mansion'. But how should I understand Kyrie's thoughts, which actually do contradict...?
You can't understand! It's impossible to understand, and impossible to interpret! That darkness is all of the witch! Come on, it's useless to think, so quit, all right?! You can't deny witches! After all I exist!



Damn iiiiiit! You have no right to say that name! And yet... I can't think of a move to deny that...!
Battler. The time limit is over, so will you resign...?
Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!
...The human side has no move in response. It will res--



BGM: Prison

Huh?! What kind of move are you talking about, Predecessor?! Won't you tell me what kind of move can deny Beatrice's magic? You can't, it's impossible!
If the proposition that 'not going to get food = not going to the mansion' cannot be explained by itself, I will explain it with the contrapositive. In short, you can also explain it with 'she went to the mansion = there was a goal other than food'.
Rather than my specialty 'Hempel's Raven'... this is Battler's specialty, chessboard thinking. If it is impossible for Kyrie to have gone to the mansion with food as a goal, we can only explain it with another goal which caused Kyrie to go outside anyway. In other words, if we can establish that goal, we can defeat magic!
I see... So if she didn't go to the mansion with food as a goal, she had a different goal, and said that she wanted to go and get food in order to disguise her real goal... it still may be possible to explain it that way. But how?
Teacher, reconstruct the scene where Kyrie died! We cannot summon a ghost, but inspecting the corpse shold be the human side's right.
Yes, there is no problem. I will construct the scene where Ushiromiya Kyrie died. We cannot call Kyrie's ghost here, but by learning what Kyrie left behind, we may be able to use that as a weapon.
Hahahahahahaha! Fine, search as much as you want! There's no way you'll learn anything! I just said it in red a short while ago - Kyrie did not leave anything written down! No matter what you find, how could you understand anything?!
We may find nothing... but Battler is grinding his teeth, fighting to think of a move to break through you. This is all that I can do...



Right now, I don't know a single winning move using the human side's style of fighting... evidence was required, right? Then what should I search for?
Someone who was also the great Lady Beatrice is getting down on her knees and crawling around! And she's even indecently searching a corpse? Hahahahahahaha, that look suits you!
Say whatever you wish... I cannot do any more than this. I do not care how I am despised... however, I cannot throw Battler away, as he is fighting for my honor... Even if I must crawl on the ground and search through dead flesh, I must answer to that responsibility!



Ahahahahahahahahahaha! What's with that seedy-looking trash?! How do you think you can break my magic with that stuff?! Worthless, worthless, are you a moron?! What's with this predicament, even though you stepped between us, saying something brave?! Aah, how pathetic, how embarrassing! Why don't you just give up and die?!
...Milady, are you satisfied with your inspection?
Hmm... I will not find anything more than this...
From this evidence, can some move be made to counter? If not, then the human side must resign.
Obviously, you don't have any room to argue back. I am a witch. You cannot break through my magic! You're no longer anything but a former witch. A loser who isn't even allowed to take the name Beatrice any more! Come on, pile up as much trash and rubbish as you like, just try to break my magic!
You can't, right? You can't, can you? Kuhihihihihi, and why's that? It's because I'm a witch. Because you're just a loser without a name! Huhhihhyahhyahhyahhyahhyah!!



Damn it... please, Ushiromiya Kyrie... You must save your son from his plight... Please, after death, lend me power for his sake...
It's pointless, pointless, pooiintleeessss. Toying with the dead is a privilege only for witches. For you, who is neither a witch nor even a human, no one exists who will lend a hand! You will be alone for all eternity! You have no witch or human allies, and no one will save you! If that's frustrating, then cry! Apologize, and say "I'm sorry I was useless"! Ahahahahahahahahaha!





I-I don't need consoling...! Just how could you argue back with this pile of rubbish...?!



...What are you trying to say with that trash...?
Kyrie doesn't smoke.



Dad smoked, but Kyrie didn't... but she did walk around with a lighter to light dad's cigarettes.
Ha! So what? If the husband smoked, then even if the wife didn't, it isn't strange for her to be holding a cigarette. Maybe she just picked up the cigarette butt of her husband who had bad smoking manners? What are you trying to say? What does this have to do with my magic? Nothing at all!
I'll say more: This is a different brand of cigarette than dad smokes. Sorry, Beato. Could you look in the pockets of Dad's corpse, too?
H.. Hmm. This...?
...Checking the brand. The brand is different from the cigarette butt.
And so what? Maybe Kyrie is just a good girl who likes things to be clean, so she couldn't leave a fallen cigarette butt alone, and picked it up? I wouldn't, though!
Beato, sorry, but one more time, please. Hideyoshi's pockets. In this family, only dad and Hideyoshi smoke.
...It's here! Is this it...?
Checking the brand. We acknowledge that the cigarette butt is of the same brand that Hideyoshi smokes.
And so what?! How can you break my magic because you found Hideyoshi's cigarette butt in Kyrie's pocket?!




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